This is the face of the top RN documentary maker who ruined Christmas for everyone at the ABC.
The photograph was on my desk when I arrived at work today. An acompanying note (unsigned) read:
KJ, I’ve read of your fury at being banned from RN’s Xmas Party. But, tightened OH&S and behavioural regulations are not to blame. This is the photograph (taken at RN’s Christmas party 2007) that forced ABC Management to urgently rethink its approach to all staff parties. Note: The man in this picture is not only following the long tradition of Australian men experimenting with gender, he is also tied up. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Appalling Situations, Sensuality | 4 Comments »
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I won’t be going to the RN Christmas Party this year. I had no say in the matter but, at this stage of the year, I’m too tired to scratch my bum let alone cause a stink over a lame Yuletide ‘do’.
Some background: RN called for expressions of interest for its Christmas party last week. I immediately expressed same and was promptly given this form to fill in. See results. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Appalling Situations | 13 Comments »
The youngest of my five-terrific-girls, KJ, has appraised you of the situation: I am no longer around on a day-to-day (or any other) basis but that doesn’t mean this man can’t have a say when the need arises. And it bloody well has! Little KJ, a keen astral traveller, keeps me across societal developments, and she reports that all  kids - so that includes your bloody kids - are now totally out of control. BUT, if you’re prepared to give this man’s Self-Distancing-Disciplinary-Technique (SDDT) a burl, the dawn-to-dusk shit fights at your place will settle down. Guaranteed.
SDDT In Action! (credit: Flickr, furryscaly)
First up - to get your kids to really sit up and take notice - you have to distance yourself from yourself. Thus, when this man was forced into disciplinary mode, be became (through a simple trick of language realignment) just……. A MAN.*
* Most common examples of SDDT in action at our place:
A MAN can’t guts any more of this…..
Do you hear what A MAN is saying…….?
You’re all giving A MAN the shits….
What’s A MAN supposed to make of this…..? Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Appalling Situations, Education | 17 Comments »
Before, I tell you WHAT exactly happened, let me assure you:
***You are a valued member of a supportive cyber community.
***Things sometimes get a little heated in our space but that’s good. We are passionate people in a pragmatic world.
***Bringing our little community together has been the best thing that’s ever happened - a joyous task when so much of my life has been marked by lost opportunities - in love, platonic friendships and work. Eg: Only yesterday, I was dropped as the Australian stringer for NZTV’s coverage of today’s historic election. Apparently, I’m hologram incompatible.
SO, I am very, very sorry that when you recently sought succour in our familiar and vibrant little space, it was anything but. Instead, you were confronted by:
Yes, a picture of Ataturk, backgrounded by a flapping Turkish flag - quite nice graphics really - but the work of perhaps the web’s greatest menace: a man by the name of Mr Iskorpitx.
Yes, we were hacked by Mr Iskorpitx but please do not be concerned. You and your bank account details are safe. Me and mine, likewise. The best thing we can do is continue as if Mr Iskorpitx had never rung our doorbell. And rest assured, RN’s cyber security people LIVE by best practice. They didn’t hold back - they gave my server a very big serve indeed…
So, welcome back. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Appalling Situations | 21 Comments »
Woke up. Rolled over as quickly as a n’er-do-well on The Bill…..all the while thinking: I CANNOT, just CANNOT face the next seven days. And if you’re thinking straight, neither can you for history shows that NEVER before have events lined up in such a dramatic, nerve-racking sequence:
Gelato shit saboteur still at large, the Melbourne Cup, the second of Rupert Murdoch’s dizzingly challenging Boyer Lectures on RN and, to top it all off, an election which will surely rock to its core what passes as the current world order. Yes, New Zealanders go to the polls on November 8. The stakes? No less than the future of millions of people at best, delicately poised, at worst, impaled, on the Pacific Rim.
So, the best time ever to hand over my top five anxiety-busting strategies. Print. Keep. Refer.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Appalling Situations, Creativity | 13 Comments »
Call me old-fashioned, call me anything you like but Australia’s international reputation IS important. So important that currently, we have a PM who spends more than half our GDP living overseas, constantly spreading the message of an urbane, sophisticated Federation.
So, how could it come to this?
Pile of Gelato (flickr credit: Gio JL)
Before someone put shit in someone’s chocolate gelato served up in the bistro of Sydney’s iconic Coogee Bay Hotel, Australia had only been mentioned once this year in the international media. That was when the first of the Steve Irwin impersonators started do live crocodile taming acts in pubs around outback Queensland.
But now, thanks to the the most unspeakable case of shit sabotage ever reported anywhere, we’re hitting the international headlines like never before. I’m NOT proud and neither should you be….
Click here for:Â Trusted Sample Of International Shit-In-Gelato Coverage.
So….Where to now? Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Appalling Situations, Diplomacy, species | 13 Comments »
