Email to:That Tired Old Cat V Dog Debate Ends Here!
I really didn’t want to waste my time getting in on this no-brainer but since my story When Dogs Knew Their Place many people have approached me demanding to talk about THEIR CAT.
credit: son of robert's, Flickr
So, I say, tell me about This Cat. This Cat which surprises you daily. This Cat which walked into your life and blessed it. This Cat, whose peccadillos, never cease to delight.
But KJ, what is it that you specifically want to know about This Cat?
I tell Cat Person that I seek nothing more than to hear interesting bits and pieces. Eg:
Has This Cat ever foiled a home invasion?
Has This Cat ever rescued a kiddie down a well?
Do right-thinking people hold grudges against This Cat because of a shocking litany of repugnant acts?
Is This Cat the street’s best-known n’er-do-well?
I get nought: only lame stories of This Cat loving herring, This Cat being the spitting image of the cat next door or This Cat providing endless succour as he writhes on the loungeroom carpet for up to 18 hours a day.
My conclusion? This Cat is representative of That Cat and Those Cats – and they too have very little to offer.
On the other hand, dogs have nothing to prove. Their record stands. I’ll leave you with these questions?
Will This Cat ever be on The Tuckerbox?
Would This Cat ever have run messages at Gallipoli?
Could This Cat ever be trained as a seeing-eye aid?
Can you ever see This Cat ever sniffing out suspect luggage at our vulnerable international gateways?
Has This Cat ever had a bowl of grits by campfire after a gruelling day droving?
End of Debate. KJ
Prawn Cutlet Award
September 18th, 2008 at 10:02 am
I concur with this line of questioning! Worthy debate, but the inevitable outcome? This Dog!
September 18th, 2008 at 10:39 am
Well done you EP!
But don’t fall into the trap of those lame generalisations of the squawking Cat Person.
So, what is it about This Dog?
……a litany of repugnant acts?
…….the rescue of a kiddie down a well?
You must be more specific! KJ
September 18th, 2008 at 11:06 am
Your wish is my command KJ!
This Dog!
- will give you canine sympathy when you are sad or upset I.E. rest his head on your lap, refuse to leave your side, listen for hours without interrupting.
- will become protective and proud when realising there is a little baby growing inside you, or you are in some sort of trouble, or because you whisper “door knocking mormon – baaad person.”
- listens to (some) commands, but is smart enough to know when you don’t really mean it.
- firmly refuses to allow any sympathy towards animals of the feline variety, recognising their aloof, mercenary style for what it is, and insisting on his right to bark, chase, and, should we ever slacken our grip on his lead, I daresay, kill.
- no kiddie rescues to date, but high hopes with future child. A previous incarnation of This Dog did assist a small child in learning to walk by allowing said child to pull firmly on his coat whilst the dog gently stood up, and started taking tentative steps forward. Hard to beat I’d say!
September 18th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Some beautiful images in there EP!
Thank you. KJ
September 19th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Miss Ross, your enthusiasm and attention to detail is admirable; however you provide no comparison of cat bite vs. dog bite statistics, nor any detailed comparison of dog/cat tuckerbox-related defecation incidents. A single rescued kiddie down a well is no match for over 75 million bitten postmen every year worldwide. Who will speak out for the silent victims?
September 22nd, 2008 at 2:33 pm
…added to Wayne’s perspective, can a dog compose anything as beautiful as Kind of Blue or A Love Supreme?
Sure, Jazz Musos are, on the whole, useless bastards who poo in the wrong place, eat the contents of your fridge unless you padlock it, and make your life miserable.
OK, so they never help out in a crisis, have only started wars via useless attempts to pick up their best mate’s partner, stole money from the blind person next to them when they are busking, etc etc (vesus the dog in Gallipoli, Seeing-Eye Dog and other “hero” hounds).
BUT we have to forgive them and consider the pain they go through in order to compose and play some of the greatest music in modern times.
KJ, give The Cats a break.
P.S. I have seen at least two Jazz musos sniffing luggage at international gateways, and know many more who have successfully foiled international drug rings by giving up their dealers as soon as the cops say ‘boo’ in the interview room.
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:34 pm
As a poor Phd candidate, I was living in a caravan in Gumly Gumly with a young virile truck driver for companionship. It was a romantic life, rather quiet, and our dogs were my only consolation during the day whilst TD transported stock from farms to the Wagga Wagga sale yards and then from the sale yards to the abattoir. We had many dogs. Pig dogs, cattle dogs, kangaroo dogs, sheep dogs and Jack Russells for going down fox holes. All dogs had to earn their keep – usually by murdering other animals. One day one of the cattle dogs (Cobber) got off his chain and escaped into the Wagga Agricultural College sheep flock, mauling several sheep to death. The irate college representative came around that evening threatening to bill us for the cost of the dead stock. My TD said that he would shoot Cobber instead (he was still at large) and they went off to find him. TD shot old Cobber in the head but somehow he survived. He was now totally deaf, unable to walk in a straight line and had a bullet lodged in his skull. However, as he was now no risk to anyone he was allowed to live in our caravan. I don’t know why I am telling you this now. I was writing a course outline for the a new undergraduate degree, then I found myself counting the blades of my office venetian blind. I checked the blog and was compelled to share this story with you.
September 25th, 2008 at 6:05 am
Dear Lonely Scholar,
As a Riverina girl, it was great to hear news from Gumly Gumly. Yes, there is material in your story which may offend. However, I believe that city folk must at least try and understand the complex relationship country people have with their animals. And you have demonstated that brilliantly!
I’d be very interested to know why your relationship with the truck driver eventually broke down.
September 25th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Dear KJ,
I was having lunch with the Dean. We’d run into each other on the sister campus right over on the other side of town. He’d driven, I’d taken the bus and the train. What a cool suit he had on. It was a kind of shiny blue, Italian silk and wool and his hair looked great, all silver and long.
Unlike the Dean, the TD had very little elegance and was too hot tempered. In the end, I outwitted him at his own jealous game. In other words, I left town in a hurry.
Now I know why I’ve never blogged, I fear that it will take over my life. Take me away from students that need me. My identity feels out of sorts, like one of those large inter-office envelopes with colleagues names all over them that I address and furiously re-address till they return all limp and lined, a virtual tug of war. It will be fascinating to see how my research into the phenomenon that is blogging goes. As you can tell, I have no idea what I’m supposed to say to you.
It is semester break, and I don’t have to hide from the students anymore. The IT people want to update my website and I’m involved in some other digital library cloud pilot. This is a happy and fruitful period and if I had time, I could discover anything about anything. Or reflect on the process. But after seeing how great the Dean looked after his sabbatical, I think I would rather go on retreat. I’m tempted to give you my holiday reading list, KJ, but it might not be your idea of a good time!
Another thing: I looked up Gumly Gumly online and saw that it now has a bed and breakfast. Not my type of place at all anymore.
September 29th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Great to read about Rudd & Tres, the Budgie Smuggling, overdressed beachie, bull dog demonic, non retiring cat lovers. Onya Man!