KerrieJean.com

The news that fathers of new born infants will have paid parental leave at their disposal, has provoked deep thought.  Of course, I am pleased that men will have time to bond with the fruits of their loins. So, I have no qualms about declaring parental leave for fathers the most significant on-the-ground advance for Family-Friendly Workplaces, ever.

 Click on this if you need a:  Little reminder if you don’t know what I’m talking about.

HOWEVER, life is messier than policy. So it was on hearing about the new parental leave provisions, a man called Larry crept into my routine creepy thoughts.

Some Larry background: My first job in journalism (1979, child prodigy) was on a fine tabloid: a masthead serving a city of tough men and women whose cottages backed onto smokestacks. They all fondly remembered being schooled in quaint converted smokestacks. And they always had good things to say about teachers because, in those days, being assigned to a one-person smokestack was the most challenging posting of all.

But, back to Larry and there were many of his ilk in our newspaper office. Best to think of him as EveryLarry.

So, how did the gun reporter, Larry, go about his business in the pressure-cooker envionment that was our newspaper office, our Family-Hostile Workplace?

Importantly, Larry worked hard to take the pressure down……..

Every day after work, Larry and EveryLarry, had many, many, many beers at our Family-Hostile Workplace’s preferred hotel. Here was a bunch of hard-bitten newspapermen freely offering support….and getting it back in spades. This was group counselling at its most effective.

Perennial topics included the melancholy generated by constant rounds of multiple divorces, new girlfriends making unreasonable demands for more than monthly dates and – most urgent of all - financial meltdowns created by crippling child maintenance payments.

But, despite all of these clear and present dangers, Larry remained upbeat. He’d been on site for thousands of shocking incidents during 25 years of police reporting so he knew all about perspective. He even counted his blessings.

But, one day Larry’s child maintenance problems spiralled completely out of control, compliments of a new Family-Friendly government policy. To say that this updated child maintenance policy left Larry exposed, would be an understatement. History had not only caught up with Larry, it was biting him hard on the bum.

In his prime, Larry fathered three children to his then wife and ‘good sort’, Pat. Larry met Pat when she worked in Classifieds at our Family-Hostile Workplace. After Pat, came a brief marriage to ’Trish The Dish’, who edited the Women’s Pages. Another two children. I can’t say that anyone was surprised to hear that Larry, in his sub-prime, had fallen for the much, much younger Judy, the bubbly telephonist at our Family-Hostile Workplace. Judy was very keen to start her first family and everyone, including Larry, thought that was fair enough. Another two beautiful kiddies but things just didn’t work out.

But, Larry was a decent bloke. He never, ever backed away from his child maintenance responsibilities, even when the Family Court threatened to garnishee his meat.

But things went from bad to worse. Soon, Larry could no longer afford his modest rented premises. One day, at shift’s start, he drove his battered Tarago van into the carpark of our Family-Hostile Workplace. But, Larry didn’t drive home - not after that shift’s end or many more after. Larry, gun reporter, decent fella, lover and bon vivant had set up temporary digs until he could get things sorted.

The last thing you should do is feel sorry for Larry. For it is generally agreed that Larry did his best work, his best writing, while he lived in that carpark. It was as if - finally freed from the shackles of domesticity – he found his true voice.  Suddenly, Larry’s stories took on a sense of urgency, a great literary quality and it was not uncommon for hardened editors to shed a tear while subbing his copy.

I’m glad that all those years ago, I realised that something magnificent was happening. I’m glad that I souvenired a couple of Larry’s stories’ intros. For example:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times….(Larry’s intro to a story about an ugly pub brawl). OR:  

I Had a Van In The Carpark….. (Larry’s intro to a feature about men and middle-age). AND:

In The Beginning……. (Larry started to use this as an intro to many of his stories. I loved its monumentalism but the sub-editors weren’t so chuffed. But Larry would not desist. So Sure he was onto something, Larry would still get away with In The Beginning on the odd occasion).

So, here’s to Larry and EveryLarry, just some of the greats of the fast disappearing world of Family-Hostile Workplaces. And would Larry have used parental leave entitlements if they’d been available in 1979? I doubt it.

Let the workplace family hostilities begin was his mantra.

********I’d loved to know how you feel about your Family-Friendly Workplace.  Is it too quiet? Would Larry survive in your office? Or perhaps you’re in one of the world’s last Family-Hostile Workplaces. Are you having fun? Or do you take offence on a daily basis?

Just click on the ‘comment’ thingo and follow the simple instructions. The place when you write your gems is at the bottom of the last published comment. *A little bit of counsel for people new to this caper. Your email (just called ‘mail’ in this case) address does NOT come up on site. And you just ignore the ‘website’ space – not necessary!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 1st, 2008 at 3:11 pm and is filed under Appalling Situations, Creativity. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.