KerrieJean.com

Jan 26th, Sydney, Australia. I have just returned home having had to transit through the CBD.

EVERYONE WAS WEARING AUSTRALIAN FLAGS……

Don’t worry –  I’m not about give you one of those lectures warning against crazy, unfetted displays of patriotism…..we all know where they can end up………

But, AESTHETICALLY speaking I do have very strong views on flag wearing.
So, please read on if you’re wearing an Australian flag, thinking of buying one for Anzac Day or there’s a niggling voice at the back of your mind….I really think a flag would suit me, I really think a flag would suit me, I really do……

 

Too much? Credit: superciliousness: flickr
(more…)

WELCOME BACK FROM YOUR ANNUAL FAMILY CAMPING HOLIDAY!

Cr: Matthieu: flickr/

Did you enjoy yourselves?

Yes, thank you for asking KJ…we DID!

And what exactly did you ENJOY? (more…)

Credit: Pilar 1967 -flickr
Today, you are exploring your relationship with BIG trouble. How do you define BIG trouble? Do you cope with BIG trouble – or not at all? What’s the biggest BIG trouble you’ve ever been in? Can getting into BIG trouble be fun? Even addictive? Think about these issues as you read our little parables. Note: If you start feeling uncomfortable for any reason (eg you don’t like the style of writing) DO NOT give up. It’s important!

* Everyone who’s PART 1 & PART 2 - just scroll down to PART 3…..

BARLOWE: PRIVATE DETECTIVE (Pt 1)  by staff writer
Of all the flea-bitten, down at heel gumshoe offices she had to walk into mine, P.J Barlowe, Private Investigations, Smoking Permitted, Please Enter….

She was blonde, small-framed like a Degas, and she had large blue eyes you felt like diving into to cool off from the summer heat, and hair in which you could get lost for a month.

What can I do for you, sugar?  I asked this babe from the blue, a damsel dreams are made of……… (more…)

Knock, knock, knock – knock, knock KNOCK…KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!!!!!

KJ  (in just a bit-too-tight red stretch CAPri pants and tatty just a bit-too-loose black bustier) gets out from under the couch. Black mascara mixed with tears have created rivulets of gunk in her wrinkles. KJ’s long, long hair, usually sleek, resembles a rear photo taken in a knackery holding bay……and there’s evidence of unprecedented Sub-Conscious eating (SE)….. all-bran, smarties, traces of you can’t tell me this is not margarine and even a chop bone are stuck in those rivulets of pain…….. 

Nice woman shows what it was like under the couch. Cr:Dave Austria. flickr

KJ OPENS THE DOOR……. (more…)

DO IT FOR HEC: JOIN THE SURGE!

http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/

  

Credit: cranberries: flickr

LATEST message from KJ: The Ginger and Spider Men have just become my SUPERDOOPERSUPERHEROES! The springboard? At precisely 1:29 today I received a personal message from The Weblog Award’s Chief Marshall -  the first he has ever sent……so he says, so he says……..

KJ, As you are well-aware, voting in our prestigious awards closes tomorrow. It has come to my attention that a blogger by the name of The Ginger Man continues to file a suite of posts on kerrie.jean.com – each magnificent but of extraordinary lengths. Are you aware that, as a rule of thumb, a standard post’s word count is between 40-230? Currently, The Ginger Man has filed a total of 5678098978987 words on his adventures (albeit remarkable) with Spidie. We have not come across anything even remotely like this before. In fact, The Ginger Man has just made blog history by a margin of 7865904325678 words. And we understand there’s more to come! In blogging terms KJ, you are persuing a very, very risky Weblog Awards strategy by continuing to post the TGM’s missives at such a crucial point. We thought it was only fair to keep you appraised….! Marshall-in-Chief, Weblog Awards. (more…)

http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/ 

Last night, I didn’t sleep at all…….okay, maybe just a little sporadic elongated wink but here I am MORE frazzled than ever, if that’s possible. Overnight, I had my biggest episode of Subconscious Eating ever. I CANNOT remember the consumption. But empty corn flake boxes, you can you tell this is not butter? containers and 17 empty tins of Danish novelty shortbreads that my loved ones passed on for Christmas are all over my modest rented digs. I have visited the Beyond Blue website for advice but no-one there has heard of Subconscious Eating. Still, it’s a magnificent on-line help facility so I made a mental note to give a donation some time.

The thing is, I have heard again from my major stress trigger, Mr Bill O’ Slatter, who is STILL refusing to vote for KJ. Here’s what he had to say:

StressTriggerStressTriggerStressTrigger

I can feel our relationship is under a bit of a strain KJ. So let’s have a Zen moment together. MMMMMMMMMM feel the quiet, feel the wind, ignore the pressures of the RN Soviet: Isn’t this good? MMMMMMMMMM. Puts everything in perspective doesn’t it. That gravatar is not of me it’s of my nemesis TIm Blair, a mate of another RN luvvie Dykiel Muffy.  

So……MMMMMMMM I went…..MMMMMMM. MMMMMMMMMMMM. Then I upped the ante. Threw a bag of M&Ms (faves) into my mouth….all the while…MMMMMMMMMMMing (another bag) MMMMMMMMMM. MMMM (another bag) MM (another bag). M (another bag). That was good. THEN I added a visual feature. I repeated all of the above while looking right into this pic, all the while intoning:

MMMMMMM, Salinity Now, MMMMMMMMMM, Salinity Now, MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, SALINITY NOW. MMMMMMMMM, Salinity Now, MMMMMSALINITYNOW, MMM, SALNI…..MM,MM,MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

SALINITY NO….SALINITY NOOOW…….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Gee, think I might do that again – and you can join in - if ya want to that is…..)

Road to Leeton. Cr: iBASECAMP. flickr

So, Mr O’Slatter I have done what you asked (and the outcome is secret) and so I will ask YOU again………….WILL YOU VOTE FOR KJ TODAY?

In the meantime, I’m going to try very hard to leave the house……SALINITY NOW!

Please tell Mr O’Slatter to vote. Tell him this is NOT about ideology or global warming……or childhood obesity…….or how poor people walk around with toothaches because Malcom Fraser dropped dentals from Medicare – TELL HIM IT’S ABOUT NOTHING LESS THAN KJ’S MENTAL HEALTH.

SALINITY NOW

SALINITY NOW

SALINITY NOW.!!!!!!!!!………..

Just click on the ‘comment’ thingo and follow the simple instructions. The place to write your gems is at the bottom of the last published comment. *A little bit of counsel for people new to this caper. Your email (just called ‘mail’ in this case) address does NOT come up on site. And just ignore the ‘website’ space – not necessary!