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32 Responses to “VOTE FOR KJ VOTE FOR KJ VOTE FOR KJ”

1. Chief Monk Says:
   January 3rd, 2009 at 11:13 pm

   Darvesh Holy Monasterie
   Lot 4, Creek Road
   Al.-Gundaghai

   Miz Kherrie Djinn al Din Hecross
   Central Palais
   ABC Nation Wireless
   Al Timo

   Dear Miss Meat Tray,

   Apology. I make joking and I not agree whatsowhomever with that Hillaly Heretick, nosireebob and I have English perfected and me hab also Der Spellcheckke.

   I living in multi-visaged Australia, and I always forever helping other peoples.

   Frs examplifcation, friend tell me, Kherrie Djinn, you having Date Problems.

   Easy fix him, Cutt him off (mayle flower cluster) just before stamens ripening and hang him among flowers of the femayle tree.

   Result is lots of dates. Yesirreebobtruedatnorisk

   I write you serious problem.

   We find half nekkid man at door of Darvesh Holy Monasterie.

   We ringing bell to call the brotherhood to dance when we finde him with charcoal on fourhead reading Nasti.

   No speaking, and nothing on him but old card with name G.I.N. German, Trinity and scrap ob paper with yo hemail and Webbe haddresse.

   That why I write you.

   Who he I asking? German Nasti party? Hitler man?

   He shake head and roll eyes and go bletch – maybe he going to be sickin?

   Who this Mr G.I.N.German Esquire, Sir?

   We hospitable loving of all mens, so we put guest in middle while we go circle and chant our zikr, the holy dirge – we sing of caliphs Abu Bakr and Ali.

   Then we give honorable guest hexibition of whirling, whirling, whirlings.

   Then we proudly give display of howling dervishes.

   That what we do.

   No responsse from Mr G.I.N.German Esq. Nosirreebobtruedat.

   He just staring, staring, staring with the eyes.

   Then we go whirl, whirl, whirl, whirling again.

   Still he sitting there.

   Then we do the Kalenderis, the calenders of The Arabian Nights, because we tell him we vowe to travel Perpetually.

   His Eyes go flick, flick, flick when we say Perpetually.

   But he saying nothing, nothingnosireebob to the show we been putting since 1271 on Christian callender.

   We eat the glass.

   Nothing.

   We whirl again.

   Nothing.

   We eat the live coals.

   Nothing, nosireebob.

   We swallow the swords.

   We invented Al Ge Brah and the Zero- and that’s what we get from him. Zero.

   We sing the song of the Poette Jalal ad-Din Muhammad ar-Rumi a chappelle, and then with drums, weightlifting, fire-eating, wrestling, Feates of Strengthe.

   Still Nothing.

   This Sicke Man, very.

   I ring coppas. They say pissoffwogs. Very rude gentlemen.

   We put strange man to bed, but he say nothing until when closing eyes,

   Thinking globularly, voting KJ.

   Crazy talk.

   Maybe you help us. Miz Kherrie Djinn.

   This man dangerous, or what? He very sicke.

   Darvesh mean beggar in Persian, We tradesmen and laborers, and we take pleasure in whirling, but he not whirl but sit and stare.

   Staring, staring, staring. That Mr G.I.N. German Esq. strangeman, yesirreebobtruedat.

   Yours with sincee felicity,

   Jalal Takyas

   Chief Monk

2. Pandora Says:
   January 3rd, 2009 at 11:42 pm

   Oh KJ,

   Things are turning up for you.
   A Date and a Finalist.
   Heavens, what next ?
   Thinking globally, I am sure that you and Leeton, and all who sail here will be voted tops, even if voting resembles a Zimbabwe Election.
   Even with The Ginger Man overboard (and perhaps that could enhance the chances) you are sure of massive support.
   I am sure Greek and loving it is in the orthodox cathedral at this moment.
   Meg and the others can offer support and advice.
   Do you think The Ginger Man would like a copy of something by Jane Austen?
   It could bring him round.
   Jane would not be confounded by Dancing Darvishes.
   I wonder what income they have? I am sure they are handsome and mysterious.

   Best wishes for success, KJ

   As Uncle Sid used to say, Vote Early and Vote Often!

   Pandora

   KJ: Thanks for your kind note Pandora – it’s all been a bit much to tell you the truth. Something terrible happened on my second date with Conrad…..so terrible, today I dry-retched (a family trait when we’re nervy) all the way back to Sydney on Vindication Airways. As you know I have a crazed and pathological dislike of aerodynamics but this time, I didn’t care what happened……if it be done just let it be done quickly. Re The Ginger Man running with the Whirling Darvishes, I am flummoxed…worried…..giddy. BUT, he is not like other men……for him life is THE EXTREME sport. Still, I have a dear friend in IT who moonlights as a de-programmer for vulnerable souls caught up in cultish outfits. She is on standby.

3. Chief Monk Says:
   January 4th, 2009 at 10:04 am

   Dear Miss Meat Tray,
   Ha! I make sillie joak once more, again.
   I am having more news.
   This morning Mysteriuse Gueste spoke words.
   Our physic say Camel Pad Soupe good for memorie Restoration.
   So we wake him with sound of Kazoo (comes from Kazuistan and is Sacrede Instrument) and Camel Pad Soupe.
   Dervish Dancers give Gueste Early Morning Whirl Dance.
   His eyes they open and he saith, Get Vote, get vote, Get Vote, Vote, Vote, Vote.
   Young vainglorious dancerrs begin dirge, Get Meister Vote, Get Meister Vote

   Then, Mstyery Gueste say, I am in a whirl. Get Vote, get Vote.

   Who this Mister Vote, please?
   We giving Gueste lot of Dates.
   Please find Vote Soon as Possible.

4. Pandora Says:
   January 4th, 2009 at 11:51 am

   KJ, my dear,

   Please be very careful as you enter the dangerous mixture of male politics, sexuality and money which can buy many votes as you well know.

   Look how money defeated Hilary.

   We have to discover, preserve and maintain Values.

   This is why I always promote Jane Austen Values at this site:

   Jane Austen Values can put us on the right path.

   Please (enjoy!) go to:

   http://janeaustensworld.wordpress.com/2008/02/10/the-economics-of-pride-and-prejudice-or-why-a-single-man-with-a-fortune-of-4000-per-year-is-a-desirable-husband/

5. Meg Says:
   January 4th, 2009 at 2:20 pm

   I once knew a Chinese man named Lincoln. According to a traditional naming ceremony, conducted between Kingsford-Smith Airport and some bolthole, signage provided a wealth of Aussie-sounding names!

6. The Ginger Man Says:
   January 4th, 2009 at 3:05 pm

   KJ,
   I am in a fix worse than when I confronted the Gestapo Cross Dressers in Dresden.
   I have asked a New Friend who has a lapdog, sorry laptop computer, so small that it really is a handtop, to send you a message.

   It is after midnight and the Whirling and Swirling has stopped.

   At 3am, however, which is Houri Hour, it is due to stayt again, then at 6am it is Dervish Dawn with more dancing, dirges and glass for breakfast followed by live coals.
   This is not the sort of Monastery I anticipated,
   It is indeed NASTY.
   Almost as Nasty as the Leetonites who drove me out of town by way of demur to my Constructive Quiz.

   I am trying to estimate how many Dervishes there are in the world and how the Global Picture can help you in the Poll.

   I am glad you are getting Dates.

   My last food here was grilled Camel Toes.

   The Cuisine seems to go from the ground up.

   Please forgive my laughter at Leeton.

   My laughter has now gone to silent screams.

   Why is everything so Bloody Whirly ?

7. Chief Monk Says:
   January 4th, 2009 at 3:59 pm

   Our Beau Geste much better.
   He refuseth Full Dervish Breakfaste of Hot Coals and Glass with Sworddes, but taketh Camel Toes Grilled and Second Cup of Camel Pad Broth. He refuseth the camel toenails which be Delicassie.
   He saith something about a Dirge CD, whateverthatbeIdontknow.
   He saith something like must Get to Pole, must Get to Pole.
   What Pole? South Pole Much closer. He saith something about Thinking Globularly. He still looking for Meister Vote.
   He say when I call him Beau Geste, This my Gestatione Period?
   In morning we ask him to give little Reflexcksion (after we play Kazu, Sacred Instgrument) on Relxgions of Worldde. (I show him Darvesh Spellecheckke)
   He speaketh on theme, Love Yo Enemas.
   He speak well, truedatyesirreebob.
   
   KJ: Dear Mr Esteemed Chief Monk of Gundagai,
   What a colossal job you’re doing with The Ginger Man…..but please be aware, very aware that you will NOT be repaid for your kindness in this life. The thing is Mr Esteemed Chief Monk, The Ginger Man has always travelled light. Material things mean nothing to him except – of course – basics which may be procured at the Temple of Dan Murphys. Still, I would counsel to tie EVERYTHING down. Just between you and me, even that magnificent Dog On The Tucker Box is NOT safe!
   Blessings, KJ.

8. Pandora Says:
   January 4th, 2009 at 5:40 pm

   Hi KJ and Blessings for Your Victory!

   Has Roxy Community Theatre ever shown Pride and Prejudice?

   If so what was the effect upon Leeton people?

   Hello Pandora – I don’t believe so……
   One of my most beautiful nights at the Roxy was when Ring Of Bright Water (the otter classic) screened. I’d never seen anything like it – and still haven’t in the decades since…….KJ

9. The Ginger Man Says:
   January 4th, 2009 at 5:43 pm

   Help! Tonight’s Feast is Pickled Camel Knees and Shanks.
   We are steadily moving upwards.
   When we are higher do the Dervishes use unmentionable parts in the Pot?

10. The Kazoo Man Says:
    January 4th, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    How grateful I am to the Chief Monk for drawing our attention to the Sacred Instrument..
    I speak of course of The Kazoo.
    I can think of no greater symbolism of K (Kazoo) J’s triumph in the Poll (have you voted yet?) than a Kazoo Procession through all provincial towns and cities, then culminating in a Grand Kazoo Performance outside the Sydney Opera House.

    I recall the days when a Kazoo was in every young person’s hand. Leeton was thronged by them. Leeton was Kazoo City.

    The beauty of the Kazoo is that an eight year old girl and a professor of music in a very short time attain the same standard of performance.

    Those with a keen knowledge of history will recall Kazu, the ancient seer who first promoted the instrument in Kazuistan, and who became its first martyr when playing to a Calcuttan Cobra, which bit him by way of demur.

    Had it not been for the persecution by Musical Liturgists – cursed be their name – the Kazoo would now be sounding in every cathedral and mosque and synagogue in the world.

    I’d like to see Australia come Alive for KJ with thousands playing Thus Spake Zarathustra and doing the Chicken Dance.

11. KJ Says:
    January 5th, 2009 at 6:40 am

    Hello there The Kazoo Man, you’re right! In fact one year at St Josephs Primary School, Leeton, the musician-in-residence, Sr Oliver, ordered the burning of all recorders. The kazoo was the only instrument allowed.
    The sounds of kazoo echoed down the street, children with specially made kazoo cases were seen carrying their much loved and meticulously instruments all over town……there was even talk of Carols By Candlelight being replaced by Kazoos By Candlelight.
    Unfortunately, Sr Oliver’s kazoo dreams all came to nought when she demanded that there be no more FOLK masses…….only KAZOO masses. The folkies went ballistic! They even petitioned the Pope. The Vatican, as usual, folded. One Sunday there was an official memo from Rome on the mass noticeboard. It said:

    NO use of the new contraception pill.
    NO homesexual activity.
    NO KAZOO.

    KJ

12. Chief Monk Says:
    January 5th, 2009 at 9:50 am

    Istanbul, Mon Jan 5 2009 (World Darvish News)
    His Holiness Kazu IV world leader of the world’s 1.6 million Darvishes has announced at his weekly Whirling Ceremony the appointment of a special Ambassadore Extraordinaire to Australia.

    The appointee is Mr G.I.N. German, an Irish national, a man of unknown age,at present residing at the Darvish Monastery, Gundagai, Australia.

    Mr German will assume the title of El Djinn.

    His Holiness, Servant of the Servants of Darvish, said the appointment had resulted from intense consultation and was part of new global thinking.

    ‘El Djinn German is a personage who is the reincarnation of the highest traditions of the Darvish Movement,’ said His Holiness.

    ”The appearance of a djinn in our midst is a portent.

    ‘He has come like a whirlwind.

    ‘Djinns according to Arabian Mythology may be imps, evil spirits or demons, but they can also be forces for good.

    ‘The appearance of El Djinn German on the Mont de Beans has made it a holy place.’

    Sources close to Darvish Headquarters say that investigations are under way for further Djinn phenomena.

    Unconfirmed reports say that Khourie Djinn Ross, an attractive Australian broadcaster, may be appointed as a Special Adviser when His Holiness visits the Sydney Opera House this year.

    Radio National is expected ti be official broadcaster.

    Khourie Djinn Ross has never visited His Holiness because of her fear of air travel.

    She is Australia’s Top Blogger and due to receive many international awards and honours this year.

    ‘If the Djinn will not go to the Darvish, then the Darvish must go to the Djinn’,said a spokesman.

13. The Man in Grey Says:
    January 5th, 2009 at 1:42 pm

    Dear Miss KJ

    Unlike the Australian cricket team who’re tits up in a ditch (whatever happens at the SCG), you’re on a roll, and your weblog awards success is richly deserved.
    I gather you’ve not only put Leeton on the map, but the whole M.I.A (there’s a song in there somewhere, and whatever it is Tourism Australia needs to know). Meanwhile poor old Channel 9, struggling after your namesake’s passing, is making a pathetic attempt to catch up… portraying your neck of the woods as some kind of rural Underbelly – cheap, I know,but wait til they find out you’re only just WARMING UP!

14. KJ Says:
    January 5th, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    Dear Mr The Man In Grey – where have you been?……..you left your cyber community just when it needed you most! Good to have you back WHEN VOTING STARTS TOMORROW……
    Re – there’s a song in there…… Donna Fargo: ‘I’m the Happiest Girl in the Whole USA’. Just replace USA with MIA (Murrumbigdgee Irrigation Area) and we are in business. Welcome back! KJ

15. The Ginger Man Says:
    January 5th, 2009 at 4:01 pm

    Help! Start voting NOW and get me out of here.
    When I complained about theconstant diet of the lower regions of the Camel, they cheered and chaired me to the Mont des Beans, newly named, and proudly served me Dog in the Tucker Box, roasted!
    I tell you, kid, this glory ain’t worth a Hill of Beans.
    Here’s spookin at you, Djinn.
    Of all the monasteries and Djinn joints in the world why did you have to …

16. Meg Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 8:24 am

    Dear Chief Monk,
    Your entry 3rd Jan funniest reading. I was crying so much I couldn’t read the screen. Too bad monks are celibate, otherwise KJ & you would make for a date to be remembered.

17. El Djinn Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 9:55 am

    Let ne tell you quite franklly.
    Anybody who does not vote immediately for Khourie Djinn, Pearl of Al Timo,
    will soon discover
    A VERY LARGE DARVESH DANCER AT THEIR DOOR.

    El Djinn
    Gundagai

18. Pandora Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 11:14 am

    KJ, Dearest,’

    A question of Dress Protocol for your Victory Parade at the Opera House (has everybody voted, and convinced many friends to do likewise?)

    Are Safari Suits appropriate dress for men? Can women wear them?

    I have calculated that there are still a few Safari Suits to be noted in crowds at Randwick and the George Negus and Peter George models can still be seen on the TV.

    If the Vote is close (but it should be a pushover for KJ) perhaps support from the Minority Safari Suiters along with the Sandals with White Sockers could be important, particularly in Toowoomba and the Gold Coast.

    I love the Gold Coast. It’s Florida with Feeling. I am sure the Meter Maids will join your Victory Parade.

    On the question of Safari Suits, I note that the Father of the Safari Suit, Ted Lapidis, has died. His creations, however, liveth.

    On the question of female decorations, i am shocked by this in today Sydney Morning Herald:

    Home » Opinion » Article
    Pandora pulled off a ‘youthquake’ long before Barack Obama

    *
    * Email
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    * Normal font
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    Erik Jensen
    January 6, 2009

    ‘Childhood is Last Chance Gulch for happiness,” wrote Tom Stoppard. “After that, you know too much.”

    Pandora jewellery is further down the ravine. That explains its success and why it is so repugnant. We spend so much time trying to know less, are so enamored by youth, that we would rather be dumb than old. We would rather spend $1000 on a lumpy children’s bracelet than age into real jewellery.

    I was talking to Karin Adcock, Pandora’s Australian managing director, when this registered. I realised, standing in the middle of my youth, that what I have now will be repackaged and sold back to me for the rest of my life. I will have the same wants and insecurities; I will just pay more for them. This is a good as it gets.

    We have been tricked by Pandora charm bracelets – thousands of us, queued up, buying beads for girls, wives, friends who claim the need to record relationships on their wrists. We have been tricked over and over, as many as 20 times to fill a bracelet with beads.

    It is ugly, bulbous stuff, Pandora. Glorified tat on the wrists of Mosman matrons. Children’s jewellery passed up as teething rings for the middle aged.

    The number of bracelets in Australia is incalculable. They arrived here in 2004 and inside three years had made this country its third-largest market. Sales doubled in the past two quarters and hundreds of thousands of bracelets now cling to the aged arms of the middle class.

    Pandora plays a clever game. Women need to see the jewellery on girls to convince them of their youth. But young girls cannot afford jewellery like older women. Pandora brought out grades of bracelets to correct the problem: gold for $2000; silver for $80; a few combinations between; a class system, instantly read, like the slave manillas of West Africa.

    In his book, The Conquest Of Cool, Thomas Frank traces this selling of youth to an era of ad men with sideburns and wide ties; to 1966, to a nude woman in body paint advertising the 46th Annual New York Art Directors Show. “Creativity,” wrote Frank, “had merged with counterculture.”

    In that moment, advertising turned youth from a demographic to a product. It would no longer sell to youth; it would sell youth itself.

    We have always idealised youth. But at some point in the last century we started using youth to dumb down consumers, to make people want what they couldn’t have, to have them spend until they felt close.

    In making us crave youth, advertising made us think like youth: bright colours and simple shapes; the broken pathways of the baby brain, the cells all there but the synapses not developed.

19. 5 Bough Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    That’s not Conrad that used to be in Troy W’s breakdancing posse back in about 1985, is it?

20. Chief Monk Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    Dear Missy Meg Traye,

    Who saith we Darvesh be Kelly bait? Nosireebobnottruedat.
    We whirling, whirling, whirling and we be thinkin, thinkin, thinkin.
    Now I be thinkin bout you. Yesireebobtruedat.
    On hollydays me going to Parra Pubic Bathe with touel round loines fra de Mayle Modestie. Perapps mit yo there?
    We all in Sydney fra de Victory March on Hopera ouse

    Fragive Darvesh Spellchekke.

    Chief Monk

21. The Kazoo Man Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    Pandora, my dear,

    I’ll be there at KJ,s Victory Parade in my Safari Suit, sandals and long white socks.

    I also have a Kazoo fashioned from a camel shinbone!

    How traditional is that?

22. Bidgee Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 10:58 pm

    Please give attribution the the photographer (Myself) of the Roxy Theatre photo!

    By using the image you agreed to the licensing by giving attribution to the author/photographer but you have failed to do so. Please address this ASAP or I’ll have to contact the ABC.

    KJ: Apologies Robert – my mistake. Thanks for the great pic. You couldn’t put a vote in for me in the weblog awards, could ya?
    Thanks KJ

23. Chief Monk Says:
    January 7th, 2009 at 6:20 am

    I explainin slowly, slowly, slowly to El Djinn how we get de Nymphe not only Victoiresse ob Polle, but declared and Lected Princess of Southern Australia.
    Two people loving, loving de Nymphe.
    They voting fra Khourie Djinn.’
    They telling two others to do sayme, yesirrebob .
    That four.
    Same again it be eight.
    then 16, 32, 64, 128….
    Yo figgerre how quick she have hundreds of votes.
    It called Darvesh Geometricke Progressionne.
    You know that Euclid was a Darvish? Yessireebobtruedat.
    Yo luve de Nymphe? You then telling the others.
    We all lovin, lovin, lovin de Nymphe, dat Ver-djinn Lady ob de Leeton, the Medina of the Murrumbidgee.
    Yo not in Zimbabwee, yo is in Australia, multi-visaged Nationne,
    Yo vote NOW and tell yo frens bout Geometricke Progressionne.
    Darvish know all boute Al Ge Bra. We invent him like the Kazoo.. Yessireebobtruedat.

24. Meg Says:
    January 7th, 2009 at 8:25 am

    KJ,
    Let’s face it. It’s highly unlikely that we contributors have each two friends to even start Darvesh Geometrick Progressionne. Good in theory. Relying on this method may see you with votes equalling the number of prime numbers less than 21. Don’t pick your victory clothing from Aunty’s wardrobe just yet!

25. El Djinn Says:
    January 7th, 2009 at 8:49 am

    A problem I have detected is that the Darvishes are voting en bloc instead of
    individually.
    Each vote represents ten thousand voters.
    According to latest estimates Khourie Djinn has 100,000 supporters.
    Therefore, you MUST VOTE INDIVIDUALLY and frequently like the supporters for other sites.
    Do not vote representationally or en bloc.
    This poll is quantitative, not qualitative based.

26. El Djinn Says:
    January 7th, 2009 at 9:06 am

    The bar is closed at Gundagai RSL and Pink Djinn & Tonic will not be served until people vote individually for kerriejean at
    http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/

    It’s not the Senate with preferences being distributed!

27. Twelve Apostles Says:
    January 7th, 2009 at 9:28 am

    We’ve all just voted at

    http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/

28. The Ginger Man Says:
    January 7th, 2009 at 9:41 am

    After I came down from Trinity I was drinking with my friend Hercule Poirot in the No Friends at All Bar of the Shelbourne. We agreed life’s a problem.

    This is like being offered a free holiday in a strip joint, and discovering that they meant the Gaza Strip.

29. The Ginger Man Says:
    January 7th, 2009 at 9:44 am

    PS It ain’t over till it’s over !
    Stay focussed !

30. The White Knuckle Says:
    January 7th, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    There might be a short pause in the Campaign for the Non-Flying Candidate, Kerrie Jean while she watches tonight’s Air Crash Investigation on the TV at 7.30 pm.

    To restore your inner calm and justify your Vindication, please lodge your daily votes (once every 24 hours) at

    http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/

    As Vindication Air says in its slogan, ‘It’s only a Matter of Time!’

31. Irritable Bowel Syndrome Says:
    January 7th, 2009 at 8:06 pm

    Thank You, The White Knuckle.
    The program had me churned up.
    Back in a minute.
    /as i say thank you. We have Nothing to Fear but Air Itself.
    Did you observe that one of the survivors on Delta Airlines 191 from the Microburst (I thought I knew all the hazards till this one) was a SMOKER who changed his seat.

    I had a microburst of nicotine after that revelation before visitng the weblog awards
    and voting for KJ, Queen of Ground Control.

    I shall be back there each day to lodge my daily 24 hour vote at the same time at

    http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/

32. The White Knuckle Says:
    January 7th, 2009 at 8:31 pm

    There’s one thing worse than a Microburst in the Air.
    It’’s a Windshuttle.
    I think Ms Hemi Semi Demi Denko might be assisting some competitors, but on the other hand she could be on our side. I trust her. She’s an author.
    See you every 24 hours at:

    http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/

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