Email to:Weblog Awards: Sympathy Messages of Support Flow In!
DO IT FOR HEC! DO IT FOR HEC! DO IT FOR HEC! DO IT FOR HEC! DO IT FOR HEC! DO IT FOR HEC! DO IT FOR HEC!
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/
How nervy am I? Very, VERY….. And yes, YES, I will put up those pics of my historic SECOND (tragic) date with Conrad in Leeton………but I’ll leave it a bit longer because I CANNOT deal with another stressor right now. And how did you kick off 2009 KJ? With an EPISODE (and I’m not talkin’ Underbelly) of major proportions! No, that just won’t do……but still let us pause and remember the glory days when Big Swifty and KJ were big? Let us remember just HOW good it all was: JESUS I COULD DO WITH A ROOT
Best to think on the bright side….if Hec (dad) was around he’d say: Shit KJ, I’m gunna ring Richo but sadly I can only work with what I’ve got and I ain’t got Hec…..(there, there I’m getting myself worked again….)
So how about we all calm down and have a look at messages of support from the bright side?
The White Knuckle: There might be a short pause in the Campaign for the Non-Flying Candidate, Kerrie Jean, while she watches tonight’s Air Crash Investigation on the TV at 7.30 pm. To restore your inner calm and justify your Vindication, please lodge your daily votes (once every 24 hours) at:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/
Irritable Bowel Syndrome: Thank You, The White Knuckle.
The program had me churned up.
Back in a minute.
We have Nothing to Fear but Air Itself.
Did you observe that one of the survivors on Delta Airlines 191 from the Microburst (I thought I knew all the hazards till this one) was a SMOKER who changed his seat?
I had a microburst of nicotine after that revelation before visiting the weblog awards and voting for KJ, Queen of Ground Control.
I shall be back there each day to lodge my daily 24 hour vote at the same time at:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/
THE WHITE KNUCKLE: There’s one thing worse than a Microburst in the Air.
It’s a Windshuttle.
I think Ms Hemi Semi Demi Denko might be assisting some competitors, but on the other hand she could be on our side. I trust her. She’s an author.
See you every 24 hours at:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/
EL DJINN: A problem I have detected is that the Darvishes are voting en bloc instead of individually.
Each vote represents ten thousand voters.
According to latest estimates Khourie Djinn has 100,000 supporters.
Therefore, you MUST VOTE INDIVIDUALLY and frequently like the supporters for other sites.
Do not vote representationally or en bloc.
MEG: Let’s face it. It’s highly unlikely that we contributors each have two friends to even start Darvesh Geometrick Progressionne. Good in theory. Relying on this method may see you with votes equalling the number of prime numbers less than 21. Don’t pick your victory clothing from Aunty’s wardrobe just yet!
THE GINGER MAN:
After I came down from Trinity I was drinking with my friend Hercule Poirot in the No Friends at All Bar of the Shelbourne. We agreed life’s a problem.
Late message that KJ is FEELING from Conrad: Nothing Compares To You…..
All messages of support most welcome….
Just click on the ‘comment’ thingo and follow the simple instructions. The place to write your gems is at the bottom of the last published comment. *A little bit of counsel for people new to this caper. Your email (just called ‘mail’ in this case) address does NOT come up on site. And just ignore the ‘website’ space – not necessary!
Prawn Cutlet Award
January 8th, 2009 at 8:21 am
It takes the earth 24 hours to make one complete rotation. In 24 hours the earth turns through 360 degrees. In one hour, the earth turns through 15 degrees. Time is measured from Greenwich. Meridians of Longitude run N & S.
Time around the world is the result.
When it says voting is allowed every 24 hours, it means just that. Very frustrating when YOU think the 24 hours is up and you are allowed to go again. DON’T GIVE UP! KJ is facing extreme humiliation and needs you to vote once every 24 hours from the last time you voted.
KJ: Thanks so much Jumping Jack Solitaire – this should shore up the train and plane spotters vote! God bless you. KJ
January 8th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Egad KJ,
Mode of action is called for! ABC Election analyst Antony Green may have some strategies, however I don’t think he is a regular blogger. Perhaps The Lonely Scholar or The Ginger Man could assist? What about Big Swifty coming up with an election jingle? Desperate times call for extreme measures. Hope you are just all warming up not reaching your limits. Go on show Meg, what you’re made of!
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/
January 8th, 2009 at 8:46 am
Dear Megsy,
Desperate times? NAH! I’ve lived through a lot worse than this……the time when I plonked black dye over my already heavily blonded locks and LOST THE LOT, the time when I was thrown out of The Godfather at the Roxy Theatre in Leeton for being under 18 (much, much under)……and my boyfriend dropped me citing public humiliation……the time I attempted level 3 maths in the 1974 HSC and was trying/thinking SO hard I only completed the multiple choice section before time was up…..I won’t go on – too busy campaigning!
KJ
January 8th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Dear KJ,
It’s not like me to be depressed and I note your campaign is run with care for your fragile and tender nerves. YES a positive campaign ditty will assist. I think Doris Day (along with Rat Pack members) sang this at one stage.
Just what makes that little KJ
Think she’ll move that vote line her way
Anyone knows that blogger can’t
Have a hope in hell chance.
But she’s got high hopes, she’s got high hopes
She’s got Hec looking down from the sky hopes.
So anytime she’s getting low
We go in to show
All at Ultimo ……….
Oops there goes another poll for
Oops there goes another poll for
Oops there goes another poll for
Our blogger’s assistance!
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/
January 8th, 2009 at 9:45 am
Amongst all the funny hair brigade (RN) you’re my favourite – your work on that stupid pommie architecture show deserves an award in itself.
My award for most easily riled at RN goes to Alan Saunders or Salad Orders as I like to call him. National living treasure is either Robyn Williams or Stormin Norman Swan. National left wing luvvie (or muddled headed wombat) award must go to Phillip Adams. Most wet award would have to go to Richard Aedy.
In conclusion I would say that awards are crap and don’t get mislead by them and your blog needs more photos of the Leeton area. Act global, think local. It’s also good to see that you’re keeping it in your pants and working on your maths.
KJ: Why thank you Bill – you are obviously a man who – Hec would have said – runs his own race! In fact, I reckon you and Hec could have sat down together and had a bloody good time……
One more thingo Bill – would I be right to suspect you know a bit about CAMPAIGNING? What do you think of my UNDERDOG strategy?
January 8th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Howard Hughes Air proudly announces its sponsorship of the campaign of Miss Kerrie J. Ross in the Weblog Awards.
It has renamed its legendary giant aircraft in her honour.
Latest scientific reports state that the airplane has risen 24 inches above the tarmac which is a considerable advance on its traditional 18 inches.
‘The Kesser Fokker embodies all that is magnificent in aeronautical design,’ said a HHA spokesman.
The Fokker has been emblazened with the slogan Higher and Higher – the True Desire.
The company has engaged the services of internationally acclaimed aviation expert, Mr G.I.N. German.
Mr German told reporters, ‘They laughed at Beethoven and said he was mad.
‘They laughed at Einstein and said he was mad.
‘But they can all stop laughing now at Howard Hughes and his famous plane.
‘The Kesser Fokker is the Best Fokking airplane in the air, albeit we have at present claimed minimal purchase of airspace.’
January 8th, 2009 at 10:20 am
Good morning Ralph Blur of Channel Ten News with an update on the Weblog Awards.
(Long shot of Acacia Avenue, Leeton which is covered by a red carpet )
In summertime in Leeton, once the Cannery Capital of Australia, the living is easy, as the song says.
It’s old men and children and watermelon wine, as another ballad goes.
(Shot of woman with small child)
Woman: Don’t eat that it’s an acacia – it killed Daddy.
But little Leeton is stirring into new life because of the campaign of one little blonde woman in the Webblog Awards – Kerrie Jean Ross, who has become the Hillary of the Riverine.
(Close up of Miss Ross)
Ross: I just love cicadas, don’t you?
(Shot of trees with cicadas going arkle, arkle, arkle).
Even the cicadas seem to be getting the message.
Leeton is on a Buzz !
Ralph Blur, Channel Ten News
January 8th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Forget the jingles, KJ girl.
You need The Song.
I Have a Dream:
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=qFHbwikzNds
January 8th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Thank you Abba Tragic.
I have three favourites, KJ Jane Austen and Abba.
I can imagine the Victory Parade from Leeton and Gundagai to the Opera House with an honour guard of twirling dervishes and all singing:
I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
Ill cross the stream – I have a dream
I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
Ill cross the stream – I have a dream
Ill cross the stream – I have a dream
I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
Ill cross the stream – I have a dream
Ill cross the stream – I have a dream
January 8th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Greek and Loving It,
Where are you in this fraught year?
Not since Missolonghi have we had such a time, a Turk hacker in the dying part of 2008 and now The Election.
Have you marshalled Greek Forces?
Have you exercised your rights ? under Demokratia to vote every 24 hours at
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/
Remember Marathon!
January 8th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Has everyone in Blair House voted for the Daily Telegraph’s Tim Blair?
Or every copy boy working for Rupert Murdoch?
Meanwhile Obama has been shut out and sent to the back of the bus, apparently with the approval of many Blair Blog supporters.
Tell John Howard to take a hotel room, cop his medal from Dubya, and stand aside for the new President.
And vote every 24 hours for kerriejean at
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/
January 8th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
“Underdog strategy” has a bit of the John Howards about it. This brings in Godwin’s Law which prevents rational persons from commenting about it. Obviously, this is important to you KJ so good luck my sweet, but I can’t vote because of my opinion of these things. Hint: the quality of some of the other entrants is very low e.g. Tim Blair.
KJ: You’re just working me up, aren’t you Bill? You DO know something about campaigning. So…..how would this work? I switch the focus away from Vote for KJ to MAKE Bill Vote For KJ!
Clever or what?
January 8th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
I am coming to the conclusion that a diet of hot coals,swords and broken glass could have deleterious effects.
Why is everything so Bloody Whirly?
January 8th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
A message sent via Darvesh Cleft Stick Mail has arrived in the hands of a whirling dancer.
It indicates discontent by some in the Poll who say they did not get enough votes despite the fact that their blogsites have thousands of visitors.
Blogess indicates some angst concerning her ‘minions’:
http://thebloggess.com/?p=1028
TGM would never describe Darvesh loyalists in critical terms.
They cook a mean camel.
You could perhaps get a visit from them if you do not vote for KJ every 24 hours over the next week at
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/
January 8th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
PS then again maybe polling out and getting ready for the Nobel Peace Prize is not the end of the world and Bloggess got an enormous response to her defeat
oration:
http://thebloggess.com/?p=1028#comments
January 9th, 2009 at 7:31 am
No worries about the vote situation. Have put my cousins on to it.
Now I have something to report. Guess who’s coming to dinner in post pizza group activities in a certain affluent beach suburb of Australia’s only international city? A soda water siphon WITHOUT the water. Yes that’s right for a small investment and a large amount of looking stupid you can get the effects of laughing gas with this simple cocktail apparatus for approximately five seconds! Damn the expense. You heard it here first. My partner of many years actually had a go. He said afterwards he only did it to be polite. Luckily no-one expects that of me so I didn’t participate – this must have been the first time in my life I have passed on trying something new. I hope this is not the start of a middle age attitude.
I am going away AGAIN tomorrow. Don ‘t know if this a good idea as I still have the cold sore from my last trip to the beach. Where’s Big Swifty? I hope he’s well, last time I saw him he was on the highway, I wonder did he turn off?
Love to you all and if you see the siphon coming your way it’s perfectly legal.
January 9th, 2009 at 8:14 am
Re voting: Thank you Meg for suggesting that I may have a strategy for increasing votes for Kerrie Jean blog. Yes I do.
The Foucauldian approach is one that immediately comes to mind. Think of his story of Diogenes – who was renowned for not only eating in the market place but also for relieving sexual urges there – owner/operator style. Diogenes’ point of view on this was: why not? And his technique, although brutal and crass, was effective (and if you find this distasteful just think how the world would be improved if rubbing a stomach were to satisfy pangs of hunger)
Foucaults’ advice was not a moral prescription on living, but self control (or in this case self-stimulation) as a means of embracing one’s pleasures and improving the world to boot.
In my last couple of months researching the blogging world through qualitative participation in KJ (hosted by RN a station of ideas) I have come to understand the power of ‘the right time’ (and here I am inspired by Greek and loving it) an approach that straddled a whole range of ancient Greek arts and sciences from medicine to government. This is the time for action. We all take a photo of ourselves in action, post it on this site and bingo the votes are ours.
I wonder should I copy this to the Dean?
KJ – NOW, YOU SIT UP AND TAKE NOTICE LONELY SCHOLAR, YOU SIT UP AND TAKE NOTICE! AM I RIGHT? THAT YOU ARE INVOKING THE NAME OF A SEMINAL THINKER TO SUGGEST THAT KJ’S SITE (HER LIFE’S WORK!) BECOME A FORUM FOR SELF-PLEASURERS?
WELL, HERE’S THE LATE MAIL LONELY SCHOLAR…..AND MAY I INVOKE MR K MARX HERE – HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF THE LAW OF DIMINISHING RETURNS?!!
AND SHOULD YOU COPY YOUR MISSIVE TO YOUR DEAN? – GO AHEAD! JUST YOU GO AHEAD! HAVE A CONFERENCE ON THE MATTER, GET AN ARC GRANT, ORGANISE INTERNATIONAL KEYNOTE SELF-PLEASURERS TO ATTEND, HAVE A SELF-PLEASURERS CONFERENCE HARBOUR CRUISE – DO WHAT YOU WILL!!!
……….I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT MAKES SOME PEOPLE TICK!
January 9th, 2009 at 9:08 am
No offence intended, of course, but judging by the horrible nature of the local canine population, this Leeton place may not be so cool.
Hello there pattinson – welcome! No, don’t be mistaken! It’s more that Leeton prides itself on being a place that has always fostered the vigorous exchange of views (just like Radio National, really). Sometimes, folks get a little heated but then they go and stand under the sprinklers in their backyards for 10 mins (thumbing their noses at the water restrictions!) and all is usually well again. If not, the AVO becomes the #1 option. KJ
January 9th, 2009 at 10:39 am
The Lonely Scholar,
OH DEAR!
January 9th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Dear KJ,
I was at Moonee Valley some years ago when the late great Vin Knight was booed by the crowd after a winning form reversal of champion Bag Limit. Vinnie, in his larriken way, told the punters something like: Yoose all must have your heads up yours a___s.
Now that’s a physical impossibility. I hope Greek and loving it has PLENTY of cousins. You will need them and all extended family members.
KJ: Hello there Princess Of The Paceway. All rational but I’ve been observing Greek and loving it for some time. She NEVER EVER is prone to exaggeration……she’ll do it for Vinnie!
January 9th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Good morning Ralph Blur of Channel Ten News with an update on the Weblog Awards.
(Long shot of Leeton Water Towers)
There’s more than a little touch of Bethlehem about Little Leeton, birthplace of The Candidate, Kerrie Jean.
In fact, the demand for baptismal water is so great that the local authority has always had to keep pace with demand.
(Zoom in to Leeton Water Filtration Plant)
Yet sometimes, there is no room at the inn.
(Closeup of man sleeping on plant steps)
Man: I got to sleep somewhere haven’t I? And it’s only a hop, step and a jump to the Internet Cafe where I can vote for Kerrie Jean at: http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/
Leeton is a place where children come like Kerrie Jean to be born.
(Shot of woman with child in Acacia Avenue on red carpet).
Woman: Don’t eat that, it’s an acacia – it killed Daddy.
Another touch of Little Bethlehem is the town’s close association with animals
(Long shot of dog urinating on Water Towers, cut to man throwing roadkill on back of utility truck).
It’s also a place where some are unafraid to link religion to basic human needs and desires:
(Close-up of KJ)
KJ: I could do with a root.
For some, however, it seems that procreation is out of the question and a life of holy celibacy and devotion to public service in communications has been the only option.
(Cut to woman in K-Mart)
Woman: Let’s face it there are no bachelor blokes here who are not nuts or drunks. All we have is the Internet, soda siphons and the Church. Then again, that’s not too bad.
As the countdown in the poll (shot of man leaping from Water Plant steps, camera following him as he runs towards Internet Cafe.
Close to man’s back reading VOTE FOR KERRIE JEAN.
The letters KJ are on everybody’s lips here in Leeton, Little Bethlehem.
(Shot of skywriting plane and ‘ KJ’ in clear blue sky).
Nor is support for Kerrie Jean in Little Bethlehem confined to Christianity, as the Chief Monk of the Dancing Dervish Community points out
(Action shot of dervishes eating live coals, swallowing swords and smashing and eating the windscreen of the utility containing wallaby roadkill. Close shot of Chief Monk).
Chief Monk: Hellogoodthanks. We lovin’ Jesus too and we lovin’ dat Khourie Djinn Ross.
Yesirreebob true dat.We lovin all peoples in multi-visaged Australia, yesireebob.
We have camel feast in her honor and soon we go to Al Timo Hay Bee Cee to give her Acclamatione.
(shots of Dervishes handing out camel shanks to Leeton passersby.)
But isn’t your support for Kerrie Jean rather pagan?
Chief Monk: Nosireebobnottruedat.
We play Holy Kazoo in memory of martyr Kazu who killed in Calcutta playing kazoo to Cobra which bite him by way of demur. We persecuted peoples like those in Gaza Stripping. Yessireebobtruedat. If not for Musical Liturgists Kazoo be played in all cathederals, mosques and sinnagogues.
And isn’t calling her a Djinn, a demon, going a bridge too far?
Chief Monk: Not all Djinns bad. This one lovely Imp. You watching I Dream of Djinni on Chinnel Tenne?
Well, yes. A great show. Tonight at 10.30 Channel Ten.
Chief Monk: I dreamin, dreamin,dreamin all time of Khoure Djinn Ross.
(Cut to Nativity Statuary in centre of Leeton showing young Hec and Gwen with small baby with three aged female pensioners approaching with gifts).
Woman No. 1: We are the Three Wise Women.
Woman No. 2: There are no Three Wise Men.
Woman No. 3: They’re all in the pub, the TAB or the church.
And your names?
Woman No 1: Frankie
Woman No 2: Incensed
Woman No 3: Myrtle
All: We mean no disrespect to the Saviour and His Blessed Mother, but Leeton is the Birthplace of Kerrie Jean Ross, the Catholic Candidate who has forsaken Marital Bliss for a lifetime of service in Public Communication.
So there you have it. Little Bethlehem is not giving up on Candidate Kerry no matter what the odds. Not all religious people, however, support her candidature. It’s the Obama Syndrome.
(Closeup of Neocat Seminarian, in long black robes with red diagonal stripe)
Is that Richmond AFL?
Seminarian: No. Wagga Traditional Seminary. We are strongly against these Heretical Second Vatican Council Dissidents and their Muslim followers. I mean, look at them…
(Close to Dervishes swallowing swords and broken glass).
Seminarian: Obviously they have Weapons of Mass Destruction
(Closeup of Dervish swallowing hot coals and licking lips).
Seminarian: And our friend Fergal O’Dobbin of Leeton Flat Earth Society has tape recordings of homilies supporting Ross the Runaway. They are going STRAIGHT TO THE CARDINAL, I can assure you.
Despite these few misgivings, it seems the business community are right behind the Candidate Kerrie Jean.
(Zoom in on exterior of Leeton Pet Shop, cut to proprietor and customer)
Customer: I tell you this Parrot is Dead. Dead! Karked it, de Mortuis, konked out, stiff as a board, pegged out.
Proprietor: No it isn’t.
Customer: Yes it is.
Proprietor: No it isn’t
Customer: Yes it is. Bloody dead. Bloody Dead Parrot.
Proprietor: Is Kerrie Jean dead in this Poll?
Customer: No.
Proprietor: Nor is this Parrot. It’s NOT DEAD!
Meanwhile, at Poll Headquarters there are unconfirmed rumours that a lovely unsuccessful candidate known as The Bloggess
(cut to shot of her in curlers at:
http://thebloggess.com/?p=1028#comments
is considering throwing her Minions behind kerriejean every 24 hours at:
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-australia-or-new-zealand-blog/
Ralph Blur, reporting from Leeton, Birthplace of Kerrie Jean for Channel Ten.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
pattinson, Roma Street…..everyone………
I also play netball.
Leeton IS a beautiful town.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Ralph Blur with a Channel Ten NewsFlash
A mysterious figure associated with the Campaign of Kerrie Jean – the Mandela of the Weblog Awards – has vanished.
Variously known as The Ginger Man, Mr G.I.N. German, The Bletchley Bard, and Artist of Absinthe, the man now known as El Djinn to faithful followers of the Gundagai Dervish Monastery was nowhere to be found as dawn broke over the monastery.
Chief Monk: He gone. He kaput. Done a runner. Yessireebobtruedat.
Where El Djinn going?
Preliminary police investigations have revealed that a bag of clothing containing a green scarf and a bottle of spirits are missing from the monastery.
Chief Monk: El Djinn take piece of charcoal from dinner and write
T-R-I-N-I-T-Y on kitchen wall. We find it this morning. Truedatyessireebob. Where El Djinn going?
January 11th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Don’t rope me into your list of Leeton-knockers, Ms Ex-L.
I spent the first half of my life there, and having spent hundreds of hours in hillbilly joints like Hillston, Junee, Lake Cargelligo and Colleambally pursuing sporting success, I am the first to vouch for Leeton as the jewel in the crown of S-W NSW towns.