Comments on: I’ve Been Blocked Up!

By: Meg

Meg — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 05:36:00 +0000

GCM,
Thanks but NO THANKS!

By: KJ

KJ — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 03:06:50 +0000

Hello there Mr O’Slatter – well done you! When the caper’s up – the caper’s up….

Now….on the matter of nuns and teen pregnancy. They didn’t save me: I SAVED MYSELF!

By: Bill O"Slatter

Bill O"Slatter — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 00:08:17 +0000

I’ve been off doing lower order work, now back to the Agenda.

My days of conducting the office from the Tav are over.

It became too dangerous not because of the habitues but from the collateral damage from my drunkeness.

Ah, there’s nothing like a good session at the Tav, but alas no more.

And KJ, at least the nuns saved you from teen pregnancy.

By: Libby Pearls

Libby Pearls — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 22:41:03 +0000

Dear kerriejean.com,

I know we might not agree on somethings (I put that down to upbringing), but I have a tip for your writer’s block – plagiarise. It’s really easy and, where I work, just about everybody’s at it.

You don’t even have to do it yourself – just get a staff member to look something up.

People said that in my last job I didn’t really know what I was doing.

Between you and I – girl-to-girl – truth is: No one up here does. In fact, the boys are the worst.

They seem to think if they look really sincere, serious and put on a slightly deeper voice, everybody will believe them. Pathetic really.

I thought I was going OK. Especially when Malcolm rang up and said he was 100 PER CENT BEHIND ME.

Shortly followed by a call from Peter, who said much the same thing, calling me baby names too.

Guess what?

Next day, I lose my job.

What would you do if Malcolm said he was 100 PER CENT BEHIND YOU?

Anyway, feeling a bit dowN…

I went home, drove to the nearest gourmet deli and stocked up.
Unfortunately when I got back to the house and was unloading the Beemer I dropped my basket of goodies all over the driveway.

Feeling a bit silly and flustered – (there was a glob of 100% Fat Free Greek Yoghurt on my skirt) – I suddenly felt a presence very close to me.

It was Jose – Our Latin American pool guy.

The day was very hot and humid and Jose, who I must say is rather well- proportioned, was stripped to the waist – his biceps glistening in the western sun.

Jose didn’t say anything, he just looked at me with deep dark eyes …
you won’t believe what happened next.

Moi?

Je ne regret rien.

Why Libby Pearls!!!! Just let me reach across to my desk fan…..and collect my thoughts.

Now…if Malcolm said he was 100 PERCENT BEHIND ME I’d certainly be looking to switch seats…..

If Peter said he was 100 PERCENT BEHIND ME I’d start sniffing Malcolm’s…..

And if Jose said HE WAS 100 PERCENT BEHIND ME I’d giggle like a schoolgirl……

Every best wish Miss Libby Pearls…KJ

By: Geriatric Chick Magnet

Geriatric Chick Magnet — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 13:48:12 +0000

It is now the Tavern of the Seventeenth Happiness.
I said you have the face of a medieval saint.
She said you are interesting, somebody should do a picture.
I said: well, thanks.

By: KJ

KJ — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 10:58:56 +0000

Dear The Rev Kev,

Can I just say?…..you have placed me in a very difficult situation.

Until recently, I strongly believed that Stimulatin’ Packages should always be self-funded. KJ

By: The Rev Kev

The Rev Kev — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 07:23:24 +0000

Dear KJ,

So sorry to hear about your probs.

Can I just say?
Can I just say?
Can I just say?

You know what?

When I have the blockage, I find the best thing to write is a
cheque.

I’ve written one for you – just under $1,000.

And you know what?

The cheque is in the post!

By: The Big Lebowski

The Big Lebowski — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 03:50:27 +0000

Hi Roma Street,
Or as they would call you in Brisbane….

Dear Ms Railway Terminal,

Just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.
We lay face down in the mud in Nam for people like you.

By: Roma Street

Roma Street — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 03:00:20 +0000

Were you REALLY WORSHIPPING barbie dolls?

No.

Did you REALLY steal our Ethiopian children’s appeal money?

I don’t think so. How would we have gained access to it? The sisters would have caught one glimpse of our blue and yellow piping and chased us off the premises.

Were you REALLY allowed (encouraged?) to watch obscene things on telly?

My nan let me watch Alvin Purple and Dave Allen at her house, but we didn’t watch them at school. The only thing I remember watching on TV at school was BTN.

By: White Knuckle

White Knuckle — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 02:42:52 +0000

Marry Me,

Thank God you’re here. Did you bring the pliers, fire extinguisher, monkey wrench and smoked haddock ?