KerrieJean.com

Hands up anyone who’s NEVER been given THE BOOT?

Congratulations!  You can STOP reading. There’s is nothing in here for you, move along, now MOVE ALONG…..

BUT, I am heartened to report that - in my line of work - I am privileged to rub up against hundreds of folks NOT so fortunate.

cr: Kevin H:flickr

Some were given THE BOOT so many times they opted for solitary lives.
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WELCOME TO WHAT BIRD DID THAT WEEK 2009….

(Stop Press: I have unveiled the pic of the bird that was my first choice for Ambassador of our special week. This Ambassador was up for about 10 minutes before I had a change of heart. Scroll down towards the end of this post to survey the disposed Ambassador. Should he be re-instated?) 

Update: THIRD Ambassadorial contender now pictured at end of post. Megsy’s choice.

CURRENT AMBASSADOR:

 

What Bird Did That Week? Ambassador. Cr: Picture Taker 2: flickr

What Bird Did That Week? celebrates the contribution birds have made to public and private DELIGHT. Just quietly, I’ve never had a fella trussed up in a Rooster Suit in my boudoir but if it was to happen, I’d be tickled pink: Ch, Chir, Chii, Chiiir, Chiirrrr, CHIRP!!!! (more…)

When life simultaneously saddens AND tickles I always think: We are in business KJ, we are in business!

So it was that my dear friend (the one who says my new bag looks like a uterus) and I – and my dear friend’s mum, a real little bugger – went to the pictures. The thing is the little bugger has run into big trouble – a diagnosis of early-stage dementia.

Sitting there in Cinema Five, we were poised to see the brilliant (if not a little scrawny) Sean Penn in the gays rights thingo (Harvey) Milk. BUT instead, on comes Emma Thompson and my favourite Hollywood Shortarse, Dustin Hoffman. The little bugger looks at us with her famous bluies:

I’M CONFUSED!

We all were. We were at Last Chance Harvey.  Well, I ask you, what are the odds of having two films about Harveys on at the very same time? So, Last Chance Harvey  it was. At this stage of the game, we were just very relieved that we weren’t in front of the plasmas at Harvey Normans.

And so began 90 minutes of most unsettling viewing. Last Chance Harvey  is (allegedly) a romantic-cum-comedy-cum-drama-cum-sci-fi-cum-love story for the MIDDLE-AGED.

cr: iirraa:flickr

All you need to know is this: Appalling men have hurt Kate ( Emma T) so many times it’s a wonder she can emerge from under the doona to visit her teeth whitener. (more…)

TODAY I WILL WRITE…..

(AND THEN WE WILL ALL) TALK OPENLY ABOUT SEX……

As the late, great newspaperman, Peter Cullen, told me on my very first day in journalism (1980, The Illawarra Mercury): People GO MAD for yarns about animals, kids and sex…..but NOT in the same story KJ, hopefully NOT in the same story……….

So SEX it is Pete, sex it is!

And what’s your angle KJ?

Well Pete, it’s that those millions of ’how to’ sex books and public ravings from self-proclaimed sexologists, are worth diddly squat. For sexual prowess, like IQ or obesity tendencies (sorry Pete, gigggle, giggle, giggle) cannot be taught. YOU EITHER HAVE THE SEX GIFT…. ….OR YOU DO NOT!!!!

Gun Yarn KJ, Gun Yarn! But will it fly?

Course it’ll fly Pete. NEANDERTHAL men didn’t have sex manuals or Bettina Arndt. But, in Neanderthal circles, it was well-known who was HOT….and who was NOT!!! Gals talk ya know, gals talk……

Hot! Cr: Robert Rizzato:flickr

I like it KJ, I like it! And blokes with hairy backs got a fair deal back then…….? (more…)

STOP PRESS!

****ON LOCATION ON LOCATION ON LOCATION ON LOCATION****

THERE’S A NEW (INTERACTIVE!) THE GINGER MAN ADVENTURE UNFOLDING IN LEETON. THE ACTION IS UNDERWAY IN THE COMMENTS SECTION.

ASTOUNDING! UNMISSABLE! (These pics? Appetite whetters….KJ) 

ON LOCATION Trailer: cr: garethjmsaunders:flickr

Road near Leeton (Western?) cr:iBASECAMP:flickr

Road near Whitton (Mystery?) cr: yewenyi:flickr

Thriller? cr:yewenyi: flickr
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Heart warming stories from another time……to make you feel better when you go broke and have to be self-reliant (and you surely will) some time this year…..

Hec (1914-1997) like millions of bright working-class men back then, had a far more impressive skills set than the monied twerps who spent their time at universities pushing each other’s head down toilets and anally smoking cigarettes.

Just for starters, Hec was a SELF-TAUGHT RAAF navigator in the Pacific. He never talked about it. But Gwennie told me that in fitful, sweaty sleeps, he’d yell: Shit, SHIT, we’ve just lobbed a big one on DARWIN….shit, shit….Hail Mary full of grace….(or words to that effect).

And Gwennie knew how to calm things down - she’d just nuzzle in, all the while whispering: But it wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t your fault – afterall, you were SELF-TAUGHT…..

Try Do! Cr: vaedri1: fkickr

Hec was also a brilliant SELF-TAUGHT master of the art of deaf signing. It  was part of his skills cluster long before access and equity had ever been invented. His original aim? To get to know his deaf St Joseph’s Primary School classmate, Kevin Watson.

Decades later, they were still at it.

There we’d be in Mass - Hec’s five lovely girls BEHAVING ourselves. And there HE was….turning his back on The Sacrament, eyeballing Mr Watson across the aisle. Both signing wildly with big grins on their faces. The nature of the communications would forever remain secret….

But, it was in the field of blood sports, that Hec’s SELF-TAUGHT skills surpassed all other. He was a duck shooter extraordinaire. I was only rarely allowed to share quality blood sport time at Tuckerbill or Fivebough Swamps. On one such occasion, Hec was shooting, shooting, SHOOTING – with NO results. Suddenly he turned to me:

It’s your bloody red jumper KJ……it’s makin’ the ducks crazy. I can’t get a fix on them…..

And so, I spent the remainder of that day’s quality blood sport time out of sight, wedged in the hollow of a gum tree. It was raining ducks all around me. Our gun-dog Cobber (cocker spaniel, plushest paws in town) occasionally checked in to see if I was all right. A couple of face licks and then it was back to work….

***Gwennie told me that if ever I talked about Hec and duck shooting, could I please make sure to pass this info on: she was not a supporter. She wasn’t and so I am…..

Quite the contrary, Gwennie is a self-taught flora and fauna lover. BUT (she probably would like me to pass this on as well) DON’T get the impression she’s ever voted Green……

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So….under discussion? Our experiences of the self-taught……I’ll throw in mine after you get the ball rolling…..Is self-taught more fulfilling than having some smartarse TELL you what’s what? Have there been  balls-ups in your self-taught endeavours? Does putting together an IKEA wardrobe count as self-taught acumen? Is the Geriatric Chick Magnet a great example of the self-taught genre? Anything else?

….first time self-taught posters DON’T be shy….. 

Just click on the ‘comment’ thingo and follow the simple instructions. The place to write your gems is at the bottom of the last published comment. *A little bit of counsel for people new to this caper. Your email (just called ‘mail’ in this case) address does NOT come up on site. And just ignore the ‘website’ space – not necessary!