Email to:What Bird Did That Week? (Megsy’s pic just in!)
WELCOME TO WHAT BIRD DID THAT WEEK 2009….
(Stop Press: I have unveiled the pic of the bird that was my first choice for Ambassador of our special week. This Ambassador was up for about 10 minutes before I had a change of heart. Scroll down towards the end of this post to survey the disposed Ambassador. Should he be re-instated?)
Update: THIRD Ambassadorial contender now pictured at end of post. Megsy’s choice.
CURRENT AMBASSADOR:
What Bird Did That Week? Ambassador. Cr: Picture Taker 2: flickr
What Bird Did That Week? celebrates the contribution birds have made to public and private DELIGHT. Just quietly, I’ve never had a fella trussed up in a Rooster Suit in my boudoir but if it was to happen, I’d be tickled pink: Ch, Chir, Chii, Chiiir, Chiirrrr, CHIRP!!!!
What Bird Did That Week? is not for ornithologists or Twitchers. Being the first to registar a triple-arsed-big-titted-hypoglossus in an exercise book counts for nought.
What Bird Did That Week? IS for privileged folks who’ve witnessed ordinary birds do extraordinary things BUT have been denied the opportunity to openly discuss what they saw, how they felt…….
I, for one, am relieved…….
**One Christmas in Leeton it rained hard for the first time in about two years. I awoke to see galahs HANGING BY THEIR FEET UPSIDE DOWN from power lines. Initially I was horrified, fearing a safe neighbourhood had become the Jonestown of galah extremists.
Then magic.
Our galahs executed a stunning precision staccato wing flapping routine. Our UPSIDEDOWNERS were not only alive, they were lairisers out to impress!!
Collective wisdom (never corroborated by the scientific community) was that the UPSIDEDOWNERS had had their very first experience of rain.
Let me put it this way……
How would you react if you were at (say) your 21st and WHAMMO, a couple of mates threw you into a bath for the very first time? You’d be shocked – AND you’d want to dry off ASAP.
So it was for the Leeton UPSIDEDOWNERS.
As the late great newsman, Peter Cullen, told me many years ago.
When you come across something really shocking, weird or bloody terrific KJ don’t get nervy when you come to write your story. A young reporter can’t go wrong kicking off with: I’ve never seen anything like it….
* *****ALTERNATIVE (A0) WHAT BIRD DID THAT WEEK? AMBASSADOR. Your thoughts please? KJ
Credit: Wes & Eli: flickr
So….. (choose our Ambassador) and in What Bird Did That Week? mark the contribution of birds in your life. Have you ever been rescued by a bird? Did you have a bird who gave you more love in one day than your three marriages combined? Have you also seen ordinary birds do extraordinary things? Bird haters…Why, why, WHY? Anything else?
Just click on the ‘comment’ thingo and follow the simple instructions. The place to write your gems is at the bottom of the last published comment. *A little bit of counsel for people new to this caper. Your email (just called ‘mail’ in this case) address does NOT come up on site. And just ignore the ‘website’ space – not necessary!
* Late mail. Megsy has requested an alternative/ALTERNATIVE What Bird Did That Week? Ambassador (see comments)
Here he is:
Cr: kookr: flickr
Prawn Cutlet Award
March 23rd, 2009 at 6:28 am
Dear KJ,
I have had a frightening experience.
I just clicked on here and a baby Roc looking like it was fed on human skulls glared out at me from the screen with its red eyes and slavvering beak and grossly twisted claws. Horror!
It was both leering and weeping, if that is possible.
I ran screaming from the room.
I cannot come downstairs.
I am sure that women and children ran screaming from this image.
Only its mother could love it.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
It has gone now but the image is still in my mind.
March 23rd, 2009 at 6:44 am
Dear White Knuckle – URGENT CLARIFICATION!
(Whowoulddathought that our What Bird Did That Week? would be marred by controversy on Day One?!!)
It is true that for about 10 minutes last night I posted my What Bird Did That Week? story with another ambassador featured.
I initially thought the image really interesting – as Pete Cullen would say: Really draws the eye in KJ, really draws it in……KJ
The pic was of a ‘just-out-of-the-egger’ of an exotic species but, as we all know, new borns are NOT always pretty……
When I went back in to have another squiz at the layout – I WAS NOT so sure……
Was the image ‘interesting’ OR would it make people sick during a week aimed at celebrating bird-driven DELIGHT?
(I also had grave concerns that the bird in the pic was NOT the one named in the caption but that’s another story…..)
So…..I ‘unposted’ the story and thought I’d have another go with a new pic this morning. Which I did.
HOWEVER, perhaps I should re-post the first image later today so members of our little community can make their own minds up…..
Ed’s note – moved your comment to this string.
March 23rd, 2009 at 9:11 am
Oh dear – I will need an extension on my bird story and I have to apologise for having absquatulated of late but, unlike Greek and loving it, it is not abstinence that keeps me buried.
Teaching with the Dean is so… well…. thrilling, that I quite forget my duties here with my research project – the intellectual life of bloggers.
I admit I am a bit disappointed that the only blogger to have responded to my survey so far is new chum Fabio.
Thank you Fabio but responding to research surveys by reflecting a question back to the researcher is not the way it is done in this country.
It’s true the ethical guidelines on research interviews with target groups have not been applied here – and maybe that explains the low uptake but this blog hardly consists of the:
Fat/working-class/ethnic/homosexual/sick/animal…..
(they obviously need protection)
OK sick and fat (and now birds) might apply. I will have to re-think my methodology.
Lonely Scholar, if things keep progressing here you can tick me off under ‘Fat AND Working-Class’. Thank you. KJ.
March 23rd, 2009 at 9:11 am
I almost forgot teaching with the Dean!
Imagine this and weep with envy.
After outlining the importance of Foucault’s theory of discourse and the many applications it has in contemporary society the Dean proceeded to illustrate his point by pulling from a plain brown paper bag two newly purchased dolls.
Instead of a dry old power point the 250 students watched spellbound as he confidently focussed the e-lecturn to magnify first Barbie, then Ken to the size of giants on the lecture hall screens.
The Dean continued his visual display by gripping a skinny Barbie leg in either hand and wrenching her legs in opposite directions and barked his observations to the students and other course tutors:
Her legs will not part! They will NOT be parted!
The audience was silent.
Then upturning the flustered Barbie from her horizontal position he attempted to make her stand on the platform lecturn.
Barbie cannot stand. She will NOT stand unsupported!
As if under instructions, Barbie complied by falling flat on her face several times.
Having finished with Barbie it was now Ken’s turn for manipulation.
Ken not only spread his legs easily but bent at the knees, allowing him to adopt a combat pose on the podium.
The male doll not only CAN spread his legs but CAN also stand firm and without support.
The students and I will never forget this lecture.
I’m sure that having heard this report you will understand the incredibly high standards that are expected from me as a co-lecturer in this subject and I know you will forgive me if I am a little distracted from my blog participation.
I know you will all wish me luck with my own lectures in the coming weeks!
Lonely Scholar – disappointing that our What Bird Did That Week? has again been derailed by controversy….
HOWEVER this is – WITHOUT A DOUBT – the most disturbing report EVER to come out of the revered halls of The Australian Academy!!!
My recommendations:
*The Dean should be counselled forthwith.
*He should be paraded (before the whole student population of your institution) UNSUPPORTED and WITH LEGS CLOSED.
*He should be immediately declared the new Ambassador of our What Bird Did That Week?
SOMETIMES I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT MAKES SOME PEOPLE TICK! KJ
March 23rd, 2009 at 10:02 am
Thank you, KJ for removing the Horror so vividly imprinted in my subconscious.
In retrospect, perhaps I was unfair and in some jungle, SOMEWHERE the little fella is much admired.
After a healing period, you might like to re-post him to see what others think.
By which time I will have several truckloads of valium to prepare myself.
Hello White Knuckle – just got back from having root canal therapy for Easter. I’m fired up! I’m GUNNA find that interesting little fella and put him up again….yes, I am, yes I am! KJ
March 23rd, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Dear Lonely Scholar,
It this the season of Borrowed or Lent?
Your story of the academic desecration of the icons, Barbie and Ken, are indications of the symbolic destruction of childhood dreaming.
Will the romance of Fabio rescue us?
Will the semi-naked Greek and loving it discover Theos in a chicken pen under a fig tree?
Will KJ spending thousands of dollars for a root (dental) restore her soul, enable her to buy the Tweetie Pie costume Gwennie denied her in Primary School?
Will Megsy lead her students over the mountains to Shangrila?
Will Marry Me find true love?
Will TGM find a Bletchley Park in the sky?
So many thoughts.
I have avoided The Tavern of Tears since I encountered a Man there.
I encountered a Man there under.
Watchado?
Films.
Suchas?
Funny.
Name?
BEER MAN
(Warning: Adult themes, language, violence and alcopops…)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNqsoqYlfvE
March 23rd, 2009 at 4:48 pm
I saw a bird
The other day
You know what?
It flew away.
March 23rd, 2009 at 5:16 pm
My Leeton bird memories all revolve around magpies, and that’ll be no surprise to any erstwhile or current Leetonian.
I once rescued a magpie that flew headlong into the reflective plate glass at the golf club.
Also, the first time I was ever swooped on by a magpie I thought someone was shooting at me with a slug gun, so I jumped off my bike and hid under those shrubs in front of the JS Palmer building in the tech.
Dear Roma Street – I know those shrubs well….
Little did you know it at the time but you were cycling into one of Leeton’s PRIME maggie assault launch sites. They swoop from the trees in the nearby hospital grounds, they amass in the gums on Palm Avenue and they fly in low (in forward attack surveillance squadrons) from Brobenah Road. You were lucky to survive Roma Street, lucky to survive at all……KJ
March 23rd, 2009 at 5:42 pm
The rabbit’s eye differs from that of the owl.
Greek proverb.
March 23rd, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Can I Just Say
Can I Just Say
Can I Just Say…..?
I’m hearing
disturbing
reports
of certain pix…….
circulating in the media
depicting my bird
in a state of undress
I know all decent Australians
will treat such reports with the contempt they deserve.
Incidentally, reports that yours truly
also appears in said pix,
wearing nothing but his undies,
are but a thin tissue of lies.
I’ll let you into a secret here KJ.
And I want you to remember this…..
When you next see me standing
Masterfully in the House of Reps
talkin’ Highly Stimulatin’ Package
and eye ballin’ Big Mal……
The Rev Kev
Never wears Undies.
Never has
and
Never Will.
And, with hard times ahead
(I Tell it as It Is)
I’m Urging all Decent Australians
To Join Me.
Don’t be Afraid
Get ‘Em Off Now
For Australia…….
Dear The Rev Kev,
(Day TWO of our What Bird Did That Week? kicks off with MORE controversy…..I’m disappointed, even moving towards HURT….)
Just be aware, just be aware…..
When Sonia McMahon fronted up to the White House in THAT dress, the headlines were mixed.
I know that you love coming up with FIRSTS. But, is this the sort of headline you’re after?
MICHELLE O WARNS:
I WILL NOT MEET THE FREE-BALLING KEV
March 23rd, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Lonely Scholar,
From this the learners learned Foucault.
March 23rd, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Excuse me, but can we have a look at the original bird please?
Dear all, I am attempting to retrieve the original ambassador while I write. I have access to 1.45 million pics of exotic birds. Should have a result by the close of business today. KJ
March 24th, 2009 at 7:48 am
GCM, thank you for Beer Man. It could very well be the clip I was looking for for Week 7!
Is it true that The Dean is preparing a goundbreaking lecture – with props. Title? Alcopop Girl – Standing Unsupported? KJ.
March 24th, 2009 at 8:17 am
CREATIVE TRAILER, BLACK MOUNTAIN.
The gloom vanishes. Sudden visit from old friends from the Cootamundra Jazz Band.
And here I am without a white sport coat, pink carnation, and no pickup truck.
And no red wind cheater either – though I do have a white T-shirt.
Well, we sat around talking about the days before Jack Flash, and how we once thought Bonaparte’s Retreat was pretty cool.
One of the boys got out the sax and played some Woody Herman. I did an imitation of Billy Daniels singing Old Black Magic.
The surviving members of the band raise chooks in the hills around Canberra.
They are the sons of maternal chook raisers and they know more about giblets than g-strings.
Their first sexual knowledge came from watching Mr Rooster in action.
Their first laughs came from watching Tweety (I tort I taw a puddy cat) in adventures with Sylvester (I say, Boy, I say Boy).
So if you see us walking southwards in our dirty underwear, do not be surprised.
***I am prepared to stage Hypnotizing Chooks, Singing with MAGGIE,
Boomtime Budgies, Bodgies and Bantams, and also to teach young Aussies how to paint chook perches with idione fulminate for interesting results at sunset.
Dear TGM,
What a lovely day with the boys from Coota…..
And thank you for mentioning GIBLETS during our What Bird Did That Week?
GIBLETS is my second favourite word – after NERVY.
Keep safe up there on the Mountain TGM, keep safe. KJ
March 24th, 2009 at 10:12 am
I think we should all get behind Rev Kev and put all our Pacific Brands products (unwashed) in a bag and send it to that bird Sue Morphet c/- 60 Minutes.
The old biddie has not only a bumped up pay package but still has the audacity to go on the telly. I wonder how many sacked workers are in this position:
EMBATTLED Pacific Brands chief executive Sue Morphet has hired a 24-hour security patrol to protect her mansion in Melbourne.
The Hawthorne home, which includes a tennis court, was being defended by a security guard yesterday as the fallout from her decision to sack 1850 workers continued. -courtesy news.com.au
Hello there anti underwear – welcome!
Would anyone like to volunteer to be the collection point for the unwashed grundies? KJ
March 24th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Just been exchanging ideas for a PANTSFREE REVOLUTION with my very good friend Barak O…he’s excited, and Can I Just Say…..?
His response to my very friendly but direct question:
From my people
To your people……
CAN YOU DO IT?
was:
YES WE CAN
YES WE CAN
YES WE CAN.
Which, I think, we can take as a…….YES.
I told him him that back home some people were a litle nervy about my proposal. And You know what?
He quoted another US President:
WE HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR
BUT FEAR ITSELF.
We then hugged.
Thanks again for all your support.
Yr V.Good Friend,
The Rev Kev.
ps (1) The cheque is in the post.
ps (2) Not that I take much notice of things like opinion polls, but did you notice that my approval ratings have jumped another few points since I annouced the pantsfree revolution on your blog?
Dear The Rev Kev,
I fear very much that only TWO weeks away WON’T be enough to pursue what obviously will be a complex PANTSFREE dialogue.
Do tell Mr Obama that we all support you remaining in Washington until your PANTSFREE agenda is exhausted.
I’m getting a very strong message here: Whatever it takes The Rev Kev, WHATEVER IT TAKES…..
And yes it is amazing – your ratings are sitting somewhere between God and Underbelly. Regards, KJ.
March 24th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
STOP PRESS
The controversial pic of my first choice for the What Bird Did That Week? Ambassador is available for viewing – and comment.
The Ambassador-in-waiting pic is at the end of my What Bird Did That Week? posting.
I really hope that our week – supposedly a celebration of ordinary birds doing extraordinary things – can now proceed in a manner appropriate.
KJ
March 24th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
KJ,
As editor, do you take full responsibility for publishing the picture of a half-naked under-age Miss Roc bird and can you verify its authenticity?
Are you publishing in the public interest or are you merely getting into pleasure publishing and attempting to terrify the reader?
Also, do you think your tabloid values (demonstrated by UTTT Man) can be distracted by the newcomer, Beer Man?
(Beer Man, it’s parrrrty time!!!)
March 24th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
The Dude,
I am many things but VANITY publisher I am not!
And I take full responsibility for EVERYTHING – my romantic history, having long hair at my age, avoiding oesteoporosis AND the pictorial content of this thingo.
I take my duties seriously.
BEER MAN is a wonderful evocation of the joys and challenges of high-spirited youth.
** Currently, I’m on the lookout for NICE What Bird Did That Week? stories.
Can you assist?
KJ
March 24th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
BIRDS.
At school, we once had a pet show where students brought in all sorts of animals and entered them in different categories. Bedlam reigned.
The ‘oldest pet’ category was won by a cockatoo named Errol.
Barely a feather on him, Errol didn’t require frilly costuming – his language was colourful enough.
Unfortunately, after many years on God’s good earth, Errol choose that particular day to die. Bedlam reigned.
KJ, don’t talk to me about What Bird Did That Week? I haven’t got over What Errol Did That Day!
Dear Megsy,
Please take strength from knowing this…
Errol died doing what he loved – winning competitions……
KJ.
March 24th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
For Errol -
What is a polygon? A dead parrot.
March 24th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Fabio say see many bird. Never like one you got for AM-BASS-A-DOR. I say keep bird with yelo beek and funny eye. He give me wings!
Funny Eye – 1. KJ
March 24th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Dear KJ,
As a uni student many years ago, a friend and I were driving along…
BANG, SPLAT!!
There’s a bird attached to the windscreen.
Friend says: Leave the bastard there or we’ll be late for lectures.
But I pull over. I massage the bird, all the while saying calming things.
BIRD OPENS EYES.
Back then, I hadn’t heard of WIRES but I was an early adopter of its principles – fill container with water, leave a Sao bickie next to birdie and administer last rites just in case…..
I often wonder if he made it through.
With tears in my eyes, I write that I agree with Fabio. Yellow beaked bird is the wind beneath my wings.
Dear The Tutor,
Of course he made it through, of course he did……
And he never, EVER forgot the sweet triage nurse on the highway…..KJ
March 24th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Hello anti underwear,
The Devil wears Lowes?
March 24th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
The birds are all walking southwards in their dirty underwear…..
Chirp….chirp….
March 24th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek
HE’S BACK!!!
March 24th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
First of all, Obama going commando. I’d like to see that.
Secondy, Smokin’ Sulphur Crested Cockatoo Story.
My beloved and I were on a romantic holiday at a 5***** resort in the Whitsundays.
There were plenty of signs saying DON’T FEED THE BIRDS. So we didn’t.
……One evening, we were sitting on our lovely posh porch, gazing at the azure waters through the palm trees.
My husband fetched G & Ts. Goes out to the table – can’t find his bungas. Love, you seen my ciggies? (NO)
We wandered up to the resort bar, both confused by the loss of the ciggies, thinking some bugger had swiped them.
The barman to my husband: Do you smoke this brand of ciggies? (YES)
Barman hands over the pack: Are these yours?
They WERE and the packet was full of BEAK marks.
A cockatoo had swiped them and deposited them in the bar. What a bird!!!!
Dear Mrs T,
Was this the same cockie who was later seen dropping off items of your intimate apparel to the resort laundrette? KJ
March 25th, 2009 at 7:42 am
CREATIVE TRAILER, BLACK MOUNTAIN.
What Bird Did That Week?
Marvellous, Simply Bloody Marvellous!
March 25th, 2009 at 8:07 am
Dunno if you’ve been getting my tweets on twitter,
but golly, I’m getting on so well with my very good friend Barack
that I now know we’re going to have a SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP.
It’s NOT just the PANTSFREE REVOLUTION – Barack’s people have given all my work an A PLUS.
And (stop press) the prez himself said yesterday that he’d like me to be his special SECRETARY.
Bill poked his head round the door in the Oval Office (he looked pretty well, though his face was a little red – as if he’d had vigorous sex within the last two minutes)
Bill said (and I quote)
KEV: YOU ARE MY MAIN MAN!
(Gives me a big bear hug)
But when he suggested a night on the town, Mrs Rev Kev
took me aside and reminded me of what happened last time….when the man from News Limited took me to a club where the ladies were so poor, they had nothing to cover their breasts.
****Incidentally – on a historical note – did you know KJ that the young Barack once visited Leeton?
He was on a backpacking holiday, and his visit gave him one of his greatest lines to date.
He told me he had just arrived in Leeton and was looking for seasonal work.
He’d heard about the cannery and bumped into a group of beautiful young girls (they turned out to be sisters)
He asked the girls if they worked at the cannery, and this is what they said:
YES WE CAN
YES WE CAN
YES WE CAN
The Rev Kev,
I DID meet the young and idealistic Barack Obama when we were both doing a season at the cannery.
It was a brief interlude – but unforgettable. Barack was on the overnight shift in the tin shop, I was on the day. He was knocking off, I was knocking on. We met over the ‘click, click, click’ of the bundy machine.
(Big Wink) May I introduce myself? My name is Barack Hussein Obama and, by my current predictions, I will be the 44th President of the United States Of America.
Hot stuff, I thought, HOT!! KJ.
March 25th, 2009 at 9:21 am
Have just left the Creative Trailer On Black Mountain.
Am on my way to Canberra Airport, then onto Sydney to pick up first flight to the G-String 20 Conference.
The Rev Kev has called me in to help with the expected media scrum.
Have had to abandon National Absinthe Awareness Week.
Hate flying…..am under-ventilating.
Love to all, TGM.
March 25th, 2009 at 9:23 am
Look what The Big Lebowski (The What Bird Did That Week? Poet Laureate) achieved in just two rhyming couplets:
I saw a bird
The other day
You know what?
It flew away.
Fabio tells me the image is now tatooed on his heart. Thank you TBL, thank you.
March 25th, 2009 at 11:16 am
The children of one of the Leeton bank managers – who lived in the bank-provided house around the block from us – whom we already considered sad milquetoasts because of their habit of executing clear hand signals when making turns – took to getting around the joint on their bikes wearing ICE CREAM CONTAINERS on their heads.
The ice cream containers had eyes textaed on the back.
Why? In order to fool magpies into thinking they could see them coming.
Whether it worked or not, my siblings and I would have preferred to cop a beak in the back of the melon, rather than submit to such an indignity.
Dear Roma Street,
I’m with you – That is so HUMILIATING!
And thank you for clearing up a Leeton mystery for me.
I often wondered what that strange sign outside the Rural Bank meant:
PLEASE REMOVE YOUR ICE CREAM CONTAINER BEFORE PROCEEDING TO THE TELLER.
* I meant to ask you before – did you ever have an UPSIDEDOWNERS galah sighting?
March 25th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
I’m sorry Geriatric Chick Magnet but no semi-naked activity going on here.
Okay, KJ so I asked for a look at the other bird….
I have a chicken story and one about a bird bath. That’s it.
My yia yia almost killed me when I was five due to a rogue chook who refused to cuddled by one of the Greenaway kids from across the road.
Chasing the chook through the hothouse, I tripped over a brick and landed head first on popous’ tins of poisons.
Yia Yia came screaming from the kitchen as if she’d been waiting all her life for such a day.
The last thing I remember seeing was an old sheet – the one from Yia Yia’s dead twin sister’s trousseau. The sheet was unused – the bride had died on her wedding day.
Yia and me are both scarred women – one from the tragic last-minute wedding cancellation……and one from popous’ rusty tins of poisons*.
*Forehead.
Next. I’ve got a very nice bird bath but it’s not quite big enough.
Can we run a fundraiser here?
Dear Greek and loving it,
I’m sorry but I cannot help you collect money for a bigger bird bath.
Preparations are already well under for KJ’s Inaugural Annual Fundraiser (November). It’s a SINGLE issue project: the provision of cut-price facelifts in Asia for every woman in Australia who wants one. KJ
March 25th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Neither bird will do KJ.
Try a 3rd pic:
Sulphur-crested cockatoo prior to Dr. Harry’s home visit please.
Thank goodness TGM has vacated Canberra.
Dear Megsy – DONE! Our alternative/ALTERNATIVE Ambassador is up, right at the end my What Bird Did That Week? post. This is THE cockie who stole Mrs T’s hubby’s cigarettes at that posh resort. He is smart, urbane AND ruthless. My sorta guy! KJ.
March 26th, 2009 at 6:04 am
Good morning everyone….
BREAKING news for Our What Bird Did That Week? during The Farmer Wants A Root (Channel 7) last night. Always outstanding television, OUTSTANDING…….
Even more so because our RIVERINA Farmer Paul (and new love Marina) were the first couple to mutually declare: I JUST WANNA WAKE UP TO YOU EVERY MORNING….(chirp, chirp..)
But, the highlight?
Paul’s son, Jessie, commenting on his father’s demeanour since Marina was parachuted into Tarcutta……
He’s CHIRPED UP, REALLY CHIRPED UP……
March 26th, 2009 at 6:22 am
KJ,
Are you aware that a Grey African Parrot could read a whole book and was interviewed for hours by a psychologist?
The name of the book is NOT known.
Hello everyone – my investigations show that the Grey African Parrot being spoken of here is Alex. He died last year and – by any benchmark – he was the quintessential ordinary bird doing extraordinary things.
Here he is in action:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6KvPN_Wt8I
March 26th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Hi team,
Fess up all you Riverina types, you’re safe here……
“….THE Government has referred the lethal brawl at Sydney Airport, and other bikie violence, to the NSW Crime Commission, which can compel witnesses to support investigations by NSW police.
Operation Leeton will focus on drug manufacturing and distribution as well as money laundering in the bikie fraternity, the Police Minister, Tony Kelly, told Parliament yesterday….”
(SMH, March 25)
Greek and loving it,
I was hoping that no one in here would draw attention to this outrage. BUT since you have, I may as well let EVERYONE know. I have been in discussion with Crime Commission operation naming staff all day. Yes, things got heated and YES, I said things I’ll regret forever BUT tomorrow you will awake to very different news, very different news indeed…
…Operation VAUCLUSE will focus on drug manufacturing etc, etc….
March 26th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
For Errol….
Here lies Errol
The White Cockatoo
Loved by me
And by you too.
Vale Errol.
We will put him to bed
Because this parrot
Is really, REALLY dead.
March 26th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
The Rev Kev,
For heavens sake DO NOT do anything at the G-String 20 Conference until I get there.
March 26th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Fabio beleive birds of a feather blog togheather and never pluck a feather. I say these words to you.
That’s the way Fabio, that’s the way…..KJ.
March 27th, 2009 at 4:52 am
FORGET ABOUT ALEX…
The Rev Kev was on The Newshour with Jim Lehrer.
OUR tropical parrot was speaking Pure MARGARINE!
March 27th, 2009 at 5:54 am
CREATIVE LONDON (forward party)…..
Getting Kevie to the levee but the levee is dry.
NO media scrum. Footy without balls, without scrum. No risk of Kevie being mobbed by media. I am with Mr Anonymous, who continues to speak Pure Margarine, as Chadwick put it.
HAD, just HAD to leak story to Feral, a mate on News Of the World…..
KILLER THE REV KEV HITS SOHO
London: Pole dancing aficionado Kevin Rudd is about to hit the Soho nightspots with a frenzy.
A source close to the PM disclosed last night:
Still waters run deep…and with The Rev Kev it is deeper than a Sound filled with giant squid.
He’s known as The Octopus to pole dancers.
The source disclosed that The Rev Kev may have been present at the Sydney Royal Easter Show a few years back for an extraordinary entertainment, reported on ABC News as The Swaggie Sway Polers.
Staffers would NOT confirm nor deny that the Swaggie Sway Polers have accompanied him to London.
Mr Rudd has been known to pray for the conversion of pole dancers to the Anglican faith.
His rock dancing has been described as minimalist, but filled with passion.
A girl dancer at a notorious nightspot once owned by the Kray Twins, The Crushed Grape, said:
Kevie does not talk much.
When he does we do not have a bleedin’ clue what he’s on about.
Know what I mean?
But he’s a right how’s your farver when he hits the dance floor.
I mean this man can JIVE!
The Australian Prime Minister’s jaunt through Soho has been closely followed by News of the World reporter Feral O’Flynn who writes:
In the dark hours in basements, Kevin Rudd really comes alive.
Even those who think he is not really alive have been amazed.
Dancers from Haiti say it is like seeing a zombie come out of the grave and dance.
March 27th, 2009 at 9:07 am
KJ, Who are the Swaggie Sway Pole people reported on ABC News at the Sydney Royal Easter Show?
Sounds like your kind of yarn. Did you file on them?
Was The Rev Kev there?
Are we looking at Swaggie Sway Polegate?
Are News Limited after the pix?
Further, did a woman pay for TGM’s trip to the G-string 20 Conference?
Hello Chadwick,
I’ve never met the Swaggie Sway Pole people – in any capacity.
They started out as the Rhyming Prawn Cutlets.
That is all I know.
KJ
March 27th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Did someone say RHYMING PRAWN CUTLETS?
I saw you the other day
Your bird had passed away.
That’s okay.
I saw you the other day
You were going away
That’s okay.
I saw you the other day
Different in some way
That’s okay.
I saw you the other day
Wearing a toupee
That’s okay.
I saw you the other day
You told me that you’re gay
That’s okay.
March 27th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
They seek me here
They seek me there
I’m your Very Revy Kevvy
And I’m really everywhere…..
Disclaimer:
A rather impertinent Australian Admiral has been going through my personal things, and putting around absurd claims about me having an improper relationships with me old China mates (as they say around Soho)
Am I a Chinese spy?
Am I a member of the Chinese Communist party?
As they say down the East End:
LEAVE IT OUT!
The Rev Kev,
NOT you too! Look, I think it best if you NOT proceed to the G-String 20 Conference proper (it’s not like you got front row seats or anything)
Just give your tickets to TGM.
As you well know, things are NOT good here. I fear Julia may take it upon herself to suddenly sack Joel JUST TO PUT HER STAMP ON THE TOP JOB.
AND, you’ve gotta go straight to Brissy to clean out that garden shed.
I’ve heard it’s jam packed with ming plates, gold-leafed rice cookers and onyx mahjong sets. Where’d you get’ em The Rev Kev, where’d you get ‘em?
*Everyone impressed – first PM who speaks Margarine AND East End Pure Cockie. KJ.
March 27th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
When in disgrace with Fortune and men’s eyes.
Shakespeare always gets it right.
Did you know he was Irish?
News of the World jumped the gun and published my story a week before The Rev Kev hit Creative London.
How creative was that?
And N o W published a picture of a trouser-less man dancing in Soho with the caption:
Is this Commando Kev?
The splash read:
COMMANDO KEV GOES THROUGH HIS PACES WITH G-STRING 20 GIRLS
How to explain when he arrives?
I am in a bit of a fix here.
Is the jig up?
March 27th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
BIRD WEEK???
I’m at my desk. YES FRIDAY 7:30pm.
I’m expected to report on activities for these (totally missed) ’special’ days:
National Ride Safely to School Day, Earth Hour (almost in the I don’t care Penny Wong category), World Youth No Tobacco Day, (like that’s gonna happen) and heaps of Saints and National days.
YES MEG IS TIRED!
OFF TO YOU KNOW WHERE!
PS: What piece of fauna has been declared What Bird Did That Week? Ambassador?
Dear Megsy,
Very unusual to have YOU out-of-sorts. I’ve never perceived you as a nervy type but sometimes people cover it up…..
You must look after yourself or you will go STARK RAVING MAD….you surely will….
And then your friends in here will be very sad. BUT none of them are in a position to offer round-the-clock care.
The What Bird Did That Week? Ambassor is….YOUR COCKIE!!!!!!
See, you are a lucky gal!
**** As you know, New South Wales is caught up in a bikie war. Tomorow night’s Earth Hour will be very low key. Everyone too terrified to switch off their lights.
KJ
March 27th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
The stage is set, the hero strets
And fruts the stage.
While nations fume and fret
Bold Kev the Rev with Holy book in hand
Sets dancing girls, boys and archbishops
Alike in heavenly bliss-filled rage.
While sad Europe all forlorn
Forgets its children, regrets its age
Its sickness, decadence, its liver
And ponders why it dared be born.
Hark!
The Kevin Cometh….
The biggest helper of the worker,
Greatest boon since sliced devon
No bouncing rhetoric like Obama
Kev the Rev needs no drama.
Like Lazarus he lieth dead
Yet from the grave doth speak
Immortal prose to last a week.
That no mortal man, no God
Can understand without a shriek.
March 28th, 2009 at 9:28 am
The Honorable The Rev Kev,
I know you are frantic over there BUT there’s something I need to know….
As KJ has noted, I am NOT myself……that’s because I am anxiously awaiting the result of my application to get a piece of your Highly Stimulatin’ Package for my small school.
Every day, I think The Rev Kev will let me know – every day, NOTHING….
My nerves are going on me.
Can you let me know asap?
(* I put in for a demountable Opera House and and 8,345 metres of shadecloth)
March 28th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Dear The Right Honorable The Rev Kev,
Will you find the time to give Margarine lessons during your time in London?
Do you have enough suits?