Would You Like Foam With That? + Latin Week Launch
GUESS WHAT…?
……I’d heard about it….BUT I did NOT want to believe it…..I did NOT want to entertain the thought of people paying big money for gross stupidity - and THEN, I DID IT MYSELF!!!!
I speak of MOLECULAR or FOAM cooking.
The God of Foam is Ferran Adria. A night of Foaming Tacos at his restaurant, El Bulli, near Barcelona, will set you back 4,500 Euros (for four foam courses) or 5,000, with douche. Simply put, Molecular or Foam Cooking is doing ’scientific’ – if NOT illegal – things to tucker. For example, shooting laughing gas into it.
To further explore the power and mystery of real-time Foam Cooking (specifically Beetroot Vapour Using Lecithin), click ‘ere: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhfQlvlVg7A
And below, discredited never-to-be-seen-eating passe Foam Food.
cr: he@rt:Â flickr
And so it was I found myself with two mates (both foundation subscribers to ‘Delicious’) in a very snooty restaurant. The floor staff were extremely professional but their white laboratory jackets, disconcerting.
We had billed our night out as:Â
The Rev Kev’s Highly Stimulatin’ Foam-Led Recovery Project.
So, what to have? To tell you the truth, I was secretly trying to avoid Foam. Spending YOUR money, I wanted to be respectful and order FOOD. I thought I did. The menu clearly stated that I was to be in receipt of a spanner crab lasagne.
But when IT came, the shocking realisation that I had been FOAMED against my will: Two foam discs the size of 50-cent pieces sat in the middle of a frisbee. And the scientists in the kitchen had rendered my dish crab-free. There were speckles of foam where once there had been crab.
My first instinct was to yell out to the intense men in the white coats.
……Go tell the freaks in the kitchen that NO-ONE plays God with my crab…………..
What is this joint…..some sort of crack lab for the skinny and filthy rich……..?
…….I have come here to EAT…….DOES THAT MAKE ME MAD, DOES THAT MAKE ME STARK RAVING MAD………?
BUT, I was too well-mannered for my own good. Always have been. Plus, I didn’t want to present like a hick in front of two foodie mates who know good Foam when they see it……
So, what does Foam (at $3,350 a gram) taste like?
Like the guts of a pav which Gwennie – in a rare moment of white hot fury – has (to show who’s boss) deliberately left out the sugar. She’s then pulled out an old can of tuna chunks, and wacked them into the diabolical mixture.
LET IT BE KNOWN HENCEFORTH:
I WILL BE DOING EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO HALT THE CYNICAL CALVALCADE THAT IS THE GLOBAL MARCHÂ OF CULINARY FOAM.
For the latest on the Foam Wars, click ‘ere…. http://www.thenational.ae/article/20090422/LIFE/704219964/1086/rss
****************************************************************************
STOP PRESS!!!!!!
Cr:bohenrybohenry:flickr
**Living Latin, Learning Latin, Loving Latin Week Launched**
**DON’T LET THE RIGOR MORTIS SET IN**
(Sunday, May 31st – Sunday, June 7th)
**Introducing Mr Chippy’s FREE Latin for Beginners’ Cyber Modules**
*** Be in touch (or THEY’LL close us down). Do you cook with foam? Do you intend to cook with foam? Your favourite foam recipes? What’s been happening in your life: foam or unfoam related? Does the thought of being a Latin speaker in just one week thrill or scare you shitless?
Just click on the ‘comment’ thingo and follow the simple instructions. The place to write your gems is at the bottom of the last published comment. *A little bit of counsel for people new to this caper. Your email (just called ‘mail’ in this case) address does NOT come up on site. And just ignore the ‘website’ space – not necessary!
May 31st, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Spunket Venum aureus ex Cyprem nativitat nautica sperma erat nihil et hostilia domestica dicet…..
Lovely Aphrodite born,
In Cyprian foam,
Now refuses to call home…..
May 31st, 2009 at 3:10 pm
Minerva laboret Mackem Penritheum pro Senilium…..
Grey-eyed Athena famous for her works,
Now works at Penrith McDonalds,
Selling burgers to tired and ageing jerks….
May 31st, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Infra dig = Burial place of Infra, the family Budgie.
May 31st, 2009 at 4:41 pm
I took a girl to a restaurant.
I asked her whether she’d brought her mobile foam.
She was NOT impressed……
Dear The Dude,
Not the gal for you, NOT the gal for you…! KJ.
May 31st, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Polypassportus:
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/05/30/2585161.htm
May 31st, 2009 at 9:01 pm
contratemps
People working fulltime on award wages
May 31st, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Partis omnibus: Late for work.
June 1st, 2009 at 11:18 am
Dear KJ,
It’s good to see you’ve been putting my Highly Stimulatin’ Package to such good use.
Can I just say that Foam Food sounds very tasty and just the thing for those of us watching our waistlines.
Unfortunately, Siimon Smoothshanks says it’d be terrible for my image if I was seen dining in an expensive restaurant.
Instead, hardly a day passes without him getting me wearing a hard hat and eating a meat pie. For example, today he’s trying to get me posing down at Harry’s Cafe de Wheels with a bunch of building workers for Godsake!
Meat pies bring back terrible memories of my school days when Father Bumjoy used to buy them for a few of us – only his favourites, but still, something didn’t feel quite right.
Dear The Rev Kev,
I know you’re very busy BUT could I tell you something….?
I’ve got a real thing for a particular type of man in a particular type of hard hat. The man is tall. The man is an engineer. And the man is in charge of huge infrastructure projects. When the man visits sites, he wears beautifully cut suits AVEC hard hats. It really is a terribly compelling (brains AND brawn) framing of Australian masculinity.
Thank you for listening…..KJ.
June 1st, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Dear Kerrie Jean,
I know we don’t always agree but, on elegantly suited men in hard hats, you’re 100% spot on.
Eg: That Scotsman in the (otherwise ridiculous ABC TV Show) Dirt Game - tall, dark, brooding – early Connery without the lisp.
Although I DO have to say if my house was burning down and I was stuck in my bedroom, I know who I’d most like to see coming up the ladder to rescue me – and it wouldn’t be The Rev Kev with a hard hat on, it’d be a FIREMAN in full uniform.
Always lovely to talk to you my dear,
Sincerely,
Libby Pearls.
Libby Pearls,
Gotta rush…..dialling 000 as I write. There’s the smell of burnt toast coming from my jaffle maker….one can NEVER be too careful…..KJ.
June 1st, 2009 at 2:15 pm
MR CHIPPY’S LATIN PRIMER FOR ALL AGES
(Living Latin, Learning Latin, Loving Latin Week – Cyber Module #1)
Classical quotations for Beginners:
ab origine: Rugby League Footballer’s home State.
absit omen: Condition of posterior during devil film.
ad astra: Subscription TV commercial.
ad hoc: Wine advertisement.
bene placito: Paul Keating.
a demi: Visit to home of Ms Hemi-Semi-Demi-Denko.
ad hominem: Mardi Gras commercial.
ad infinitum: Mr Finn’s Car Wash ad.
a fartiori: Primary exhalation.
ad valorem: Valerie’s Car Wash ad.
alter idem: Changed passport.
amor patriae: Hidden love of men named Patrick.
amucus curiae: Clamydia ointment.
amor sceleratus: Anatomy aficionado.
anno mundi: After anno Sunday.
ante bellum: A bellicose ant.
pis aller: Public urination.
Construction:
adsum: two plus two?
wantsum: Friday night.
getsum: Saturday night.
fete accompli: Mrs Murphys cake won.
festina lente: Mrs Brekkie.
mens sana: Oxford Street bath house.
ex tempore: Divorced woman’s rage.
post Mortem: Life after divorcing Mort.
vivat rex: German dog; TV detective.
Verbal declension:
Farto fartus fartatis farterra
(Noun)
Fartum a priori
A fundamental exhalation of primary significance.
Verbal noun:
Quo fartus (or fartum)?
Qui fartatis?
Thank you for your attention. Print out and use during conversations with family, friends, colleagues and chance acquaintances.
Remember: Confidence comes with practice.
Mr Chippy.
June 1st, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Came downstairs as an act of courage.
Saw the post about foam food.
Am going back upstairs to eye off my mattress for dinner.
This is exciting stuff Mr Red Knuckle….EXCITING. Only last night, I plonked a bit of an old foam esky into the blender. Whizz, Whizz. Then I added a bottle of Cottees chocolate ice cream topping. Whizz, Whizz. Then I flash froze the whole lot using a special molecular cooking nitrogen gun. Superb!….KJ.
June 1st, 2009 at 3:20 pm
The Rev Kev,
Re Father Bumjoy: Rectom satiricus
June 1st, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Beatified and truthful,
Found beneath the foam…
Keats found the mystery,
That might bring us home.
http://www.nybooks.com/articles/22735
June 1st, 2009 at 4:37 pm
KJ,
Mr Chippy’s Cyber Latin Module No 1 should now be fully subscribed. No virgo intactus need apply.
I want to know where the graduation party is to be held.
Dear Megsy, the graduation party is to be held in a specially decorated ANTE room. There were be chippies and absinthe. KJ.
June 1st, 2009 at 5:34 pm
KJ,
I’ve been foam cooking for years.
Thought I’d pass on my favourite recipe:
*Take one litre milk (any sort you like).
*Add as much topping as you like (any flavour you like).
*Shake the b-jesus out of it (any way you like).
*Pour into container (any one you like).
*Add straw.
*Suck foam through the straw.
Dear Ex-Leetonite,
So that’s what we were all enjoying at the Carlton Cafe: Molecular Shakes…..KJ.
June 1st, 2009 at 5:53 pm
There is a nervy young upstart on that commercial TV cookery contest who fancied himself a dab hand at foam cooking, until put in his place by one of the judges.
He made some foam out of peas, and then shaped it into little spheres.
The judge asked him why he went to the trouble of deconstructing a bunch of small, round, pea-tasting objects and then reconstructing it into a bunch of small, round, pea-tasting objects……
Hear Hear!! And good to hear from you too…..
* There was some discussion in a recent thingo about something called the ‘five/four o’clock wave’. APPARENTLY, when there WAS irrigation water released downstream from the Snowy, desperate types with surfboards could go to Murrumbigee River beaches and ‘catch’ the ONE resulting wave. Does your legendary local knowledge encompass the mysterious ‘five o’clock’ wave….? MYTH or REALITY?
June 1st, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Amicus ginnus germanicus: The love for gin and an itinerant Irish educator.
June 1st, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Simply at the height of your powers my dear, knocking down the pretentious. And what is live long and prosper in Latin?
Why thank you Mr Slatterus……
SPIRITO LEETONICUS, SPIRITO LEETONICUS!! KJ.
June 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 am
In these difficult, dangerous times, you are a beacon of light…..
I wore my hard hat to bed last night – you’re right KJ, it works!
Dear The Rev Kev,
I KNEW something was going on.
Terry, my long time contact at The Dish in Parkes, rang me first thing this morning. Terry said technicians were picking up atypical signals from the inner sanctum of The Lodge, overnight. He described them as similtaneously, hard AND soft.
And how goes it in the Big Smoke KJ? (Terry asked)
All right. Thank you for asking Tezza. I’m Learning Latin.
Onya KJ – gotta go…..the bosses around here can be a bit cuntra spirito…..
Nice talkin’ Tezza, see ya…….
June 2nd, 2009 at 10:18 am
I don’t know anything about the 4 or 5 o’clock wave. Being a townie, perhaps that was something I missed out on.
However, I do recall a brief vogue for channel surfing, which took place in the wider irrigation channels out towards Murrami (usually called canals to distinguish them from the smaller ones closer to town).
The skier was hooked up to a ute which sped along the track between the canal and the road.
A fairly prominent member of the local literati would be able to confirm that her father and uncle were prosecuted for indulging in this form of hi-jinks.
Dear Roma Street,
Channel surfing re-defined! I daren’t get in touch with THAT ‘fairly prominent member of the local literati’ for confirmation of the channel transgression. The Leeton literati are NOT to be mucked with. One perceived sleight, and you may as well be dead.
I CANNOT chance that, I just CANNOT. KJ.
June 2nd, 2009 at 11:00 am
Mr John Keats,
Has Put Me,
Right Off,
My Eats….
June 2nd, 2009 at 2:38 pm
PhD
Philos doctoris, devotee of Dr Phil.
June 2nd, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Dear Meg,
Is this one your former students who would NOT Come Down Immediately or Come Down At Once….?
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/06/02/2587005.htm
Good luck with Mr Chippy’s cyber Latin modules,
Stan.
June 2nd, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Ruckus Fruckus in Canberra:
Two Men Foam At Mouth.
Malcom T ‘Taken Aback’.
There were wild scenes in the National Capital earlier today when mutual contempt exploded into violence in the Coalition Party Room.
A Liberal Party staffer was last seen entering the The Rev Kev’s office to return his hard hat.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/06/02/2587193.htm
June 2nd, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Dear friend KJ,
Your advice to The Dude was correct.
If The Dude and I were at dinner, I know I would enjoy it…..including that fine sense of humour.
I imagine that The Dude would express lovely (and interesting) sentiments in Latin. I imagine so very much!
Dear, dear Marry Me,
So you like The Dudus ’cause he ain’t NO prudus? KJ.
June 3rd, 2009 at 9:28 am
Dear Marry Me,
Amor vincit: The love of Vince.
June 3rd, 2009 at 9:42 am
Today, getting personal with Latin.
* I have taken two correspondents to this site to demonstrate personal Latin usage.
Remember: Latin – once the language of the privileged – can now be easily co-opted for everyday use.
Latin – Elegant and Intimate……
Fabio et Fabia: Fabio was a little peckish and there was nothing in the larder except his sister.
O Slatterus in Volvo procederunt: Bill takes the Volvo for a spin.
**I was a struggling language teacher in a tough Comprehensive. Thanks to Mr Chippy’s Cyber Latin Modules, I’m now Physical Education Master at one of Britain’s finest (Justin).
Mr Chippy.
June 3rd, 2009 at 9:54 am
My Dear KJ,
Can I just say…..
I had a terrible night
Didn’t sleep well at all.
Woke up with something cold and hard digging into my left buttock. Turned out to be my hard hat.
It’d come off in the night.
(I actually think it’s one or two sizes too small – we got a job lot at a very reasonable price from my Chinese business friend, Mr Fuk U2, and now I know why).
But you know what….?
The glass is very much half full KJ. Because earlier in the night:
I HAD A DREAM!
That all across this big, brown God fearin’ land, EVERYBODY was wearing a hardie…..
(I’m thinking of calling them hardies – do you think it’ll catch on?)
At bus stops, on trains, in cars, on building sites, school playgrounds, in boardrooms,
nurses (including that one in Qld who likes me)……
ALL wearing hardies,
ALL shit shovellin’ ready…….
For a green shootin’ Oz.
To paraphrase Old Silver:
No Aussie should be without a hardie!
Hallelujah!
God Bless You My Dear,
The Rev Kev.
Dear The Rev Kev,
WOW! Was feeling a bit sorry for myself…..wet and gloomy day…..carpet in need of a spruce up, old computer screen flickering like an epilectic fit pre-warning….dunno, I’m usually SO positive….AND THEN, in you come with the best idea for Nation Building since Daylight Saving and the Harvester Decision COMBINED. Count me in as an early adoptor of The Hardie. KJ.
June 3rd, 2009 at 9:59 am
In Romeo and Juliet,
Which one was the Capulet? Furthermore what had she et?
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/06/02/2586715.htm
Going back upstairs as an act of cowardice….
June 3rd, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Sorry…..should have been here sooner but held up with reading The Big Lebowski’s Keats link.
I’ve also been busy with a project that I’m sure you’ll all be keen to support.
In solidarity with my Indian students and the awful fuss they’ve suffered, I have decided to use my mid-semester break to ride my bicycle around my home state so that the bicycle route taken – transcribed from a satellite position – mirrors the exact shape and dimensions of the sub-continent of India.
With the assistance of a linkage grant, this ‘writing of the biking’ will then be emailed to every politician’s iPhone in the country.
Just to make this even more exciting, I will ride blind-folded, sucking dahl foam through a straw from my specially designed backpack.
How will I not kill myself, you ask?
Locative audio works – designed by a group of local students working in solidarity with the Indian students – will guide me along the route and alert motorists of my mission and the issues involved.
This way, ordinary Aussies can be made aware of the students’ plight AND participate in a public art experience rarely available in non-urban Australia. I’m sure many of you are wanting to contribute…..
What’s the go on this KJ?
Dear The Lonely Scholar….The GO on this one is ALL GO!!
….A magnificent framing of the shocking contemporary reality of ‘The Other’.
I have already been in touch with a community liasion officer at Malvern Star. He said: LET’S TALK….(albeit a bit later on).
A nice PR man at Victorian Police said: Tell that Lonely Scholar she’s in the RIGHT HEAD SPACE at the RIGHT TIME. The links between public art and lower crime rates are just becoming clear KJ…..WE CAN TALK (albeit a bit later on…).
SO….things good from my end, very good indeedie…..KJ.
June 3rd, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Dear Stan Lee Here,
Even I don’t repeat boys of that build….
But, our Sydney Spidie could be one of their dads.
A full facial would assist with identification.
My Latin isn’t a priority…
It has taken me six years to get over a visiting author to even start using adjectives again.
He kept on calling them pingy words.
Unfortunately, nary a student could find pingy in the Basic Skills Tests.
Results: Nullis.
June 3rd, 2009 at 4:54 pm
The Lonely Scholar,
I am gomspanked (ancient Greek word, sorry no Latin here) by your idea.
By the way – I hear that the National Library of Australia is now archiving this site! This could mean that someone might actually (besides the three of us) read what we’ve written in 500 years time.
Won’t that be exciting…?
Take it easy Greek and loving it…..take it easy. I’ve got feelings just like the next person. I cut my finger….and I bleed. I’ve left men….and I’ve been left. I have done good things…..and I have fallen short.
SO WHAT BLOODY HELL HAS GOT INTO YOU? KJ.
June 3rd, 2009 at 5:14 pm
We need to twit this out.
Ready, set, finger…….
June 3rd, 2009 at 5:16 pm
ALL RIGHT BABY!!!!!!
But there’s NOT much doing here…
June 3rd, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Well, I’m cooking mince.
June 3rd, 2009 at 5:21 pm
WELL, GET THIS BABY!!!
I HATE MINCE!!!!!!
June 3rd, 2009 at 5:23 pm
That’s sorted then.
June 3rd, 2009 at 5:30 pm
KJ’s Twitter Trial #2 Successfully Completed!
Scotty rang: Gee KJ, was that in real time….?
Sure was Scotty – AND Tweeters are allowed up to 140 letters. Believe it or NOT, the longest exchange on Twitter Trial #2 came in at 70 letters….
So KJ, YOU can Tweet for half the usual price….or YOU can do it twice as much for the same cost…..?
LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY SCOTTY….I’M PREPARED TO TWITTER MY BUM OFF DAY AND NIGHT IF THAT WHAT MAKES THE BOSSES HAPPY…..
Onya KJ – see you in the office tomorrow….
June 3rd, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Don’t talk to me about foam. You seen the end of a keg at the Leeton RSL?
Dear Bar Maid,
Yes I have, yes I have……
GIVE ME THE BLOODY CAR KEYS WAZZA. I’M DRIVIN’….AND WE’RE GOIN’ HOME RIGHT NOW……!!!! KJ
June 4th, 2009 at 9:42 am
In BC, the numerals come first,
In Anno Domini, the numbers?
They come at the very last…..
So remember that dear writer,
To avoid editor KJ’s blast.
June 4th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Magna bellum:
Magna is on The Biggest Loser.
June 4th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Questions Without Notice To The Rev Kev:
Why do you need a free electric car?
Have you been personally affected by the GFC – and need private stimulation?
Are you worried that you might tear the roof lining with your hard hat?
….Also, it has been shown that hard hats can cause baldness. Will you find someone to provide a free merkin?
Also, watch out for the Under The Car Seat Man.
June 5th, 2009 at 7:26 am
Salute, puellae pulchrae leetonae et hellenae!
I have recently returned from harrying the Gauls, not to speak of the Britons (astonishing what a judiciously applied daub of woad can do for the female form).
On my return to the city of seven hills (capitus romanorum) I learn that your correspondent The Lonely Scholar (studentus peregrinus) is embarking on a journey fraught with peril (via molto periculosa).
Is my learned colleague not aware that the shape of the subcontinent which she proposes to inscribe on the tablets of learning read by impressionable young minds (studenti generatione texti et mobile) resembles in outline that island lying to the south of the great southern land (terra australis incognita), immortalized by the love-stricken ovid (or was it sappho?) in these panting verses:
Lunatus mens meum inflammibum
Tua Tasmania visitorum
Ne plus ultra Albaniae
Propter bonus mei
(I had a mania
To visit your Tasmania
Might as well have been Albania
For all the good it did to me….)
I am concerned that The Lonely Scholar’s plan – no doubt conceived from the highest of motives, may inflame passions best held in check (passionibus inflammibus inadvisibus), not to speak of harming international relations.
Hands off the subcontinent I say! Hands off the Apple Isle! (triangulus furribus).
Hail Caesar!!
Sigismundus!
Hail Sigismundus!! Congratulations! You are obviously our very first reader to successfully complete Mr Chippy’s Latin On-Line Cyber Modules….
I shall pass your correspondence onto our dear The Lonely Scholar. I predict she’ll be in touch with you. I foreshadow long and intense, wide-ranging conversations deep into the night……the two of you bicycling through country lanes…..laughing, laughing….The Lonely Scholar’s hair wild in the wind. Eventually…..passionibus inflammibus ADVISIBUS. Be happy Sigismundus, be strong……KJ.
June 5th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
The memoirs of The Under The Car Seat Man.
Now, that’s bestseller if ever I saw one…….
The publicity says: Under The Car Seat Man: At Last His Story Can Be Told…..
June 5th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
My dad calls sausages Snaggis Australis.