Now, that’s bestseller if ever I saw one…….

The publicity says: Under The Car Seat Man: At Last His Story Can Be Told…..

I have recently returned from harrying the Gauls, not to speak of the Britons (astonishing what a judiciously applied daub of woad can do for the female form).

On my return to the city of seven hills (capitus romanorum) I learn that your correspondent The Lonely Scholar (studentus peregrinus) is embarking on a journey fraught with peril (via molto periculosa).

Is my learned colleague not aware that the shape of the subcontinent which she proposes to inscribe on the tablets of learning read by impressionable young minds (studenti generatione texti et mobile) resembles in outline that island lying to the south of the great southern land (terra australis incognita), immortalized by the love-stricken ovid (or was it sappho?) in these panting verses:

Lunatus mens meum inflammibum
Tua Tasmania visitorum
Ne plus ultra Albaniae
Propter bonus mei

(I had a mania
To visit your Tasmania
Might as well have been Albania
For all the good it did to me….)

I am concerned that The Lonely Scholar’s plan – no doubt conceived from the highest of motives, may inflame passions best held in check (passionibus inflammibus inadvisibus), not to speak of harming international relations.

Hands off the subcontinent I say! Hands off the Apple Isle! (triangulus furribus).

Hail Caesar!!

Sigismundus!

Hail Sigismundus!! Congratulations! You are obviously our very first reader to successfully complete Mr Chippy’s Latin On-Line Cyber Modules….
I shall pass your correspondence onto our dear The Lonely Scholar. I predict she’ll be in touch with you. I foreshadow long and intense, wide-ranging conversations deep into the night……the two of you bicycling through country lanes…..laughing, laughing….The Lonely Scholar’s hair wild in the wind. Eventually…..passionibus inflammibus ADVISIBUS. Be happy Sigismundus, be strong……KJ.

Why do you need a free electric car?

Have you been personally affected by the GFC – and need private stimulation?

Are you worried that you might tear the roof lining with your hard hat?

….Also, it has been shown that hard hats can cause baldness. Will you find someone to provide a free merkin?

Also, watch out for the Under The Car Seat Man.

Magna is on The Biggest Loser.

So remember that dear writer,
To avoid editor KJ’s blast.

Dear Bar Maid,
Yes I have, yes I have……
GIVE ME THE BLOODY CAR KEYS WAZZA. I’M DRIVIN’….AND WE’RE GOIN’ HOME RIGHT NOW……!!!! KJ

Scotty rang: Gee KJ, was that in real time….?

Sure was Scotty – AND Tweeters are allowed up to 140 letters. Believe it or NOT, the longest exchange on Twitter Trial #2 came in at 70 letters….

So KJ, YOU can Tweet for half the usual price….or YOU can do it twice as much for the same cost…..?

LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY SCOTTY….I’M PREPARED TO TWITTER MY BUM OFF DAY AND NIGHT IF THAT WHAT MAKES THE BOSSES HAPPY…..

Onya KJ – see you in the office tomorrow….

I HATE MINCE!!!!!!