These suits weren’t tough to get hold of.

Most people’s dads had them tucked away in the back of the wardrobe.

But another source was (of course) Vinnie’s. Anyway, a boy a couple of years above me at school (I went to school with his sister, so I know this story to be all too true) wanted a new suit for the LHS social, but lacked the readies with which to purchase one, so he went into Vinnie’s with his school tracksuit on, took a suit into the changerooms, put it on, slipped the black-and-white trackie back on over the top, and then skedaddled.

The topper was – he brought the suit back to Vinnie’s on the Friday after the social, said he’d changed his mind, and got his money back.

So, not only cheap, but Hellbound also.

Dear Roma Street,
So young, so young…..FRIGHTENING! Pathological Tight Arse or homegrown delinquent?
Take your pick. KJ.

Dear TGM,
Thank God!! Thank Godwin!! KJ.

What next?

Dickens eat your heart out. I do so feel for him.

All they can get on the man is a big hairy palm tree in his front yard which he did not – without question – plant.

Now, he’s fodder for the front page.

As far as stingy men, I know many marriages that would not have survived if both parties had not been rich and incredibly stingy. So being tight can be beneficial to children.

Dear The Lonely Scholar,
Mr Godwin Grech is a complex man in deep do-do. I just saw his palm tree on the news. The neighbours seem nice people. And that’s a good thing because they’ll be collecting the mail and letting the Federal Police in. Godwin has been admitted to hospital in a nervy state. KJ.

These are folks like me buttering both sides, caring for young meat on one hand and virtual vegetables on the other.

Then I came downstairs and thought about what I heard on the radio the other day about – and please confirm if this is true anyone- that it was Germany that invented modern democracy, not Greece.

OK, it’s time to get hold of that ute, hire a sole contractor and get whoever it is to drive as fast as he can due west and find The Ginger Man.

Hey, maybe I can go?

Dear Greek and loving it,
You’re so interesting when in a contemplative mood – reaching in, reaching out.
So, SO much concern about The Ginger Man…….
People worked up…..waiting, waiting to hear from a man who could hardly be described as ‘risk aversive’.
I haven’t told anyone this….but even the boys at the Parkes Telescope can’t get a fix on TGM.
Am a little teary. Must go. KJ.

Almost 100% true.

Everything stays….
Except the money,
And the trees.

Well Done Malcolm – excellent work.

Dear The Old Carnt,
You really DO have it in for Mal and his attempts to provide employment for hard-pressed locals in The Solomons. And, with things underfolding as they are in Canberra, let’s face it……Big Mal may be back spinning his magic in The Top End Of Town real soon. KJ.

Where are you when I need you?

Are you Godwin Grech?

Love,

Fannie.

What is a real ute man?

How do Fabio become one of these peoples?

If I be one of these, will I be able to fit many lady in, just like in Ferrari?

I will sent The Rev Kev some food. I not know his address. KJ, will you make sure my friend not starving?

I think of you and The Rev Kev much.

Love to all my Beautiful Cobbers,.

Fabio.

Dear Fabio,
It’s hard to define a Real Ute Man – you just KNOW it when ya see one. KJ.

All of this talk about my hero being a Pathological Tight Arse is a beat up, and Darling, we all know it.

I have a 1988 Holden Barina. You can borrow it from me anytime.

Mr Chadwick, you are a genius.

I have, in the past mooted that I am nothing but a Public Servant secretary.

The office, at exactly 4pm yesterday, resembled a scene from Dancing With the Stars (Tap Dance category).

But, MY tootsies remained planted firmly on the ground.

Chadwick, please consider becoming a Government advisor.

Love always,
Marry Me.