Dear The Ginger Man,
Would I be right to assume that you’ve left the derelict shopfront in favour of The Fat Lamb Hotel? KJ.

A member of Opus Dei has been monitoring the sermons of priests on the topic of Fingo, a creature which denies Natural Law and is the product of scientists tinkering with genetic structure.

On the matter of The Fabina, the hearts of all true Catholics go out to all female parts all over Australia.

No Catholic in good conscience should attend ‘The Fabina Dialogues’ in the Roxy Theatre, Leeton – Diocese of Wagga Wagga.

I have invited The Ginger Man to bring all the animals concerned to the Sydney Archdiocese Headquarters where we have a long-standing rat problem.

They can be assured of a caring, secure environment which will assist us in coping with the holy burden of celibacy.

This craze for crossing ‘ThisDoodle With ThatDoodle’ is similar to the Middle/Upper class obsession with producing perfect progeny. This expensive tampering with chaos theory involves a trip to the sperm bank. Order up donor – Brad Pitt looks, Einstein IQ, NO criminal history, earning potential to rival that of Mr Souris …

Risky business. Some punters do end up with the offspring of the likes of Ivan Milat.

As it goes with Criss/Crossing Doodles in the Doggie World. Genetic engineering. For example, attempting to cross a Poodle with a Labrador may see you at the vet carrying a Sheep/Dog called DollyDoDah.

Nope, KJ, NO workshop required – just blatant stupidity/vanity.

Boo Boo.

Thank you Boo Boo. I won’t be crossing Doodles. Ever. KJ.

Dead right. KJ.

‘The Fabina Dialogues’ WILL premiere at The Roxy.

As part of the celebrations, we will all travel to Leeton to attend your ‘The Fabina Dialogues’ Fat Lamb Writing Workshops.

The Premiere will be HUGE. Readers for ‘The Fabina Dialogues’ will include The Big Lebowski, The Rev Kev, Nathan Rees, Cardinal Pell and local sporting greats.

Roma Street (it’s time we gave something back to our town) SO will you help me cater for the occasion in the Roxy Lounge?

(I’m thinking ALL local produce – Murrami sushi, feed-lot beef infused with lamb and 44 gallon drums of compote).

Dear Ex-Leetonite,
Brilliant! BUT we CANNOT have the premiere on Saturday night if Leeton-Whitton Crows boys will be reading from ‘The Fabina Dialogues’. Are you NOT aware that their season is hanging in the balance? A man can hardly be performing ‘The Fabina Dialogues’ one moment and playing pointy-end-of-the-season football the very next day. No, he can’t……..KJ.

But we fly with all of the birds,
To escape from those words
And also Bloody Church Bells……..

Dear Boo Boo,

Welcome and congratulations! You have now been honoured with The Fingo Award which shall be presented to you by Stan Lee and Spider-Man when they visit Australia.

This canine parenting is not for sissies!

Every mass murderer has a Mum at home knitting his socks and balaclava.

Festina (nee Brekkie) is like that. She glows over every Super Puppie crime. Master Clippy Claws is the worst villain.

So is Fabina, the Fox who Mated with a Dingo.

Fingo can do no wrong.

The shire president came for an overnight stay at the Fat Lamb Hotel and Fingo ate (and digested) his pyjamas without even a burp.

What does life hold for me?

I have thought about writing The Fabina Dialogues.

Many years ago, I made it widely known that I’d be having drinks at my place for my birthday.

Three people turned up. Two co-workers, one accompanied by his mother.

It was a very bad and NOT very late night.

Dear Red Knuckle,
Thank you for being Man enough to let us in…….
Why, oh why, does God let unreasonable things happen to reasonable people? This will go down as one of history’s most INSIGNIFICANT birthdays. KJ.

A belated Congratulations on the arrival of Foxie Dingo Fingo. Much, MORE more exciting than the current craze for crossing this ThisDoodle with ThatDoodle.

Niceties over. TGM HELP!

Fingo is indeed an early bloomer…..one rabbit, six rats, one moggie.

Get it right – I am not a Hollywood serial adoptee.

Nope just an ordinary citizen whose intention was to SAVE YOGI. Yep, there was his pic, placed strategically on a Community Board. Cute.

And Oh Hell – pic was accompanied with words to the effect that Yogi would shortly be joining The King Of Pop, should some sucker NOT……

TGM, Yogi is ratters. To date, his score is ZERO. In fact, worse.

He shows MATERNAL instincts towards the traditional enemies.

I now live in a menagerie…….

And I fear I have Post-Natal depression? I do not feel like giving the little fella ‘proud maternal licks’ as does Fabina.

Marvellous, NOT SO BLOODY MARVELLOUS!!!!!!!

Heeeeeeeelp,

Boo Boo.

Welcome Boo Boo…..welcome. What is this craze you speak of for ‘crossing ThisDoodle With ThatDoodle?’ Do I have to join a club? Do I have to enrol in something? Do I have to do Crossing Doodle Workshops? Whatever it takes Boo, whatever it takes……KJ.