Maybe we could make up a table – Lord Farty, Mark Scott, Captain Underpants. Strictly movers and shakers???

I am happy your forebears came here….

I think they did so I could have a milkshake and mixed grill at my favourite cafe.

Sophie, as you know, is trying to attract women to join the Liberal Party.

Anyway this young cove – new to the job I understand – and I carnt say I liked the cut of his jib – started shouting at the statuesque woman standing next to me, making the most extraordinary lewd gestures about what I thought he said was:

The Tory Titty Test….

I was just about to say: YOU CARNT SAY THAT….when young Malcolm stepped in…I must say now Old Smirky’s off the stage Malcolm has really perked up.

First his great stand against cat strangling……and now he’s taking on the Tory Tit Men!

Exciting times – what’s next my dear?

The Old Carnt,
Tory Tittygate will go down as the low point of contemporary gender relations in Australia.
And ABC1 Television News was one of the few outlets to give it due attention – Tory Tittygate LEAD the 7pm bulletin last night. Iran, second.
* Would you like to take me to the Ball next year? KJ.

I have a sneaking suspicion that that jaunt to The Little House On The Prairie was actually SET UP by the two degenerates who once rented a telly AND engaged in sexual activities resulting in physical injuries to both.

WHY?

……Jerry Springer was a bit short of DOWN UNDER perversity. What could be better?

Place The Contemptuous Pair on exotic location. Load ‘em up with lethal weapons – knives, a few casks of Moselle, a bed guaranteed to be the source of more hard core near death experiences.

Thistle Island provided a fantastic SET for this episode of Springer. It had ‘marauding frill-neck lizards the size of a cows’ and ‘blowies as big as chihuahuas’.

I am so glad that – as far as I know – this episode did not go to air.

(Does anyone really think that any frill-necked lizards actually had their eyes poked out?)

Dear Confused,
Absolutely NO set up. To tell you the truth, I still think things may work out for Mr and Mrs Contempt. KJ

Yesterday, I purchased a white sweater from St Vinnies. It is now at the dry cleaners.

So, The Magnet is now The Geriatric With Pretensions.

Dear The Magnet,
Please see my concerns about women of a certain age wearing white – and treble them….KJ.

You Carnt say CLASS in Australia.

It simply doesn’t exist.

Everyone is MIDDLE CLASS in Australia.

We don’t want to get into the bother we had in the Old Country.

Look what happened to that chap Orwell.

Sound enough to start with…….went to Eton, then joined the Colonial Police BUT ended up measuring coal miners’ bedrooms in Wigan and washing dishes in Paris.

AND……..described himself as:

UPPER LOWER MIDDLE CLASS

Or was it……..

LOWER UPPER MIDDLE?

Dear ole The Old Carnt,

So George, like so many of his CLASS right up until the present day, enjoyed his gap year……..
But, I can’t talk. I come from a PRIVILEGED background. And the privileges include being able to spot an Old Carnt from fifty paces……
Take care, KJ.

PLEASE closely read the article below…..

And be assured that if YOU ever run the gauntlet of the authorities, THIS cyber community will stand by you (whoever you are, wherever you are……)

http://www.smh.com.au/technology/technology-news/blogging-policeman-has-no-right-to-anonymity-judge-rules-20090617-chyc.html