Maintain The Ragers!
News like this comes but once in a lifetime…….
The Chief Monk has just informed me he’s standing for Labor at the next New South Wales election. I’m thrilled - so thrilled that this week kerriejean.com has been turned over as Australia’s first official Re-Elect NSW Labor WITH AN INCREASED MAJORITY site.
Our slogan? RE-ELECT THE FRECKLED FUNSTERS*
( *Della told his then sweetheart, Kate, that Nathan R was like Mark Latham WITH freckles).
*The Chief Monk’s Campaign Director, Brother Warwick. cr: topherous: flickr
Thank God for The Chief Monk: He knows what’s important: Love, Fun and Dark Intrigue.
Please read his statement OUT LOUD……
Yo all MissMeatTraysjesjokin!
Back in Al-Gundagai Monasterie I is de Freckled Funster Candie-date fra de Erection Ob De Fun Parte OB Premeer Rees.
YESSIREEBOBTRUEDAT!!!
Ma slogan is:
HAINT WE GOT FUN? FRECKLED FUNSTERS ALL HUNITE!!!
MissMeatTrayjesjokin Belooonda Neale she heppin de Campaign Fra de JOKES.
*Lotsa Campaign CDs
(This top of de pops, truedat) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTWB_ByQD4w
Dothers?
*Yo Know Who I Is
*Under De Table Top Dinner
*Hunderpants Capers
*Developer Delights
*Sex In De City
*Ole Man Liver
*Della Man
*Haint We Got Fun
*Jake De Peg (Diddle….liddle….)
*Story Has Broken (Like De First Morning)
*Who Dat Girl Hanging Round Wiv You?
I ASKIN DE VOTAS:
HAS YO HAD FUN?
DOES YOU WANT MORE FUN?
ONLY WE FRECKLED FUNSTERS GIB THAT FUN……
Git wiv KJ MissMeatTrayjesjokin to git da Labor boys and gels over de line.
They fulla love and fun….Da Klytorians gunna vote for dem - but they very tiny, sensatif elickorate.
YOU TOO…?
YESSIREEBOBTRUEDAT!!!
(KJ) Thank you, The Chief Monk.
* Declaration of interest:
You should know that Leeton, before breathtakingly cynical boundary changes, used to be Labor – both at State and Federal levels.
We had Al Grassby’s head (No 1 For Riverina) all over our lawn in the run up to the ‘72 poll. But NOW IS NOW…..
So, are you on board for the Re-Elect The Freckled Funsters Campaign? Will You Be Voting For The Chief Monk?
And……Your memories PLEASE of elections past when Funsters were cherished NOT vilified? And, as usual, love to hear about anything currently making your life FUN or outright UNTENABLE.
******ALL commenters go for it!! Just click on the ‘comment’ thingo and follow the simple instructions. The place to write your gems is at the bottom of the last published comment. *A little bit of counsel for people new to this caper. Your email (just called ‘mail’ in this case) address does NOT come up on site. And just ignore the URL thingo – just ignore it.
Comment of the Week
September 7th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Thankyo MissMeatTrayKJ jes jokin far de pubic exploration ob de Campaign.
Bout time I WENT PUBIC wiv my polotick Haspirations.
WE IS DE FRECKLED FUNSTERS!
WE IS FUNDING UNDERBELLY:THE MUSICAL!
YESIRREEBOBTRUEDAT……
Dear The Chief Monk,
I got nothin’ ta lose! KJ.
September 7th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Hey, Signor O’Farrelli,
Wassamatta you?
You show no respeck!
Shuttuppayyouface!
The Funistas of Napoli support de Monk and da Freckled Funsters.
We got long Pinocchio noses, but we laughing and sexy.
Silvio.
September 7th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Nathan Rees, upon his knees, turned up at Government House telling Marie Bashir:
I beg you Madam…in the name of Mercy……to withdraw my commission.
Madam replied: Can’t do that – I’ve just come from a Freckled Funster party. It was great. Memorable. We all left with a story to tell………
I’m going to the next Knickers Night.
Dear Chadwick,
I’m going to the Knickers Night too. I’m a bit puzzled by the invite though. It says: Please bring your own aspidistra. KJ.
September 7th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
I’m A Believer! The Funsters:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lszh8Z-bDo
Dear The Dude,
Would I be right to think you’d be ON BOARD for just about anything? KJ.
September 7th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
The Palestinian Prat-Fallers and the Jerusalem Jesters along with the Jihad Jokers, the Golan Heights Gigglers, Leb Laughers, Kim Il Klowns, Beijing Boppers and Marx Mirth Makers join in the Fifth International Full Frontal in solidarity with the Freckled Funsters.
Follow the Freckle, Follow the Fun!
September 7th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Fraternal Greetings from the Supreme Leader’s Office in the national capital, formerly known as Canberra, but officially now (by national decree) KEVTOWN.
I warmly support your campaign, and fully endorse the religious aspects of your movement.
I’ve been closely studying the photograph of Campaign Director Brother Warwick, and must admit to a tinge of jealousy – I’ve been longing for a habit like that…..
In fact, I’ve got one hanging up in my wardrobe at the Lodge, but so far T has dissuaded me from wearing it into Parliament…..it’s too early , she keeps saying – now I’ve seen Brother Warwick’s I have to say I THINK NOT.
Good to see Brother W has a guitar case….
I trust, as he’s venturing into cowboy country (NSW) politics, it contains a machine gun.
Good luck and God speed.
I’m prayin’ for ye.
The Rev Kev.
Dear The Rev Kev,
I can’t see any problem with the habit at all. The buzz is that when you were in the Diplomatic Corps your favourite get-ups for garden parties in exotic locations were Australian flag patterned sarongs…
Thank God you have no NSW (or any other state) ‘Labor’ friends – and you won’t have to spend hours pushing the ‘delete’ button on your Blackberry.
I can put you in contact with Brother Warwick if you’d like a private meeting with The Chief Monk. KJ.
September 7th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Who do I need to donate to, to get a big champagne bottle erected in our street Mr Monk?
September 8th, 2009 at 10:21 am
POSTSCRIPT……
Kev The Kanga’s coming,
Five Super Pups on his back
Wearin’ his footy jersey,
Of red and white and black.
And Fingo the foxie-dingo,
Is hangin’ from his ears
And Ainslie Football Fans,
All urge him with their cheers.
Go! Kev The Kanga Go!
The match must not end in tears.
He’s boing up the Parliament Flagpole,
His big red eye……
Fixed upon the goal,
Belconnen girls are calling:
Game over!
(No, no, NO)
But Magic and the boys are yelling:
C’mon Kev, GIVE IT A GO!
So is The Swans coach,
The legendary Mister Roos
‘Bout time we gave the game over lads,
To the bloody kangaroos!
Kev pops the ball from his pouch,
Faster than a ferret from a sack
And gives the little leather thing,
A great big bloody whack!
…..Across Lake Burley Griffin,
Where they’re building New Noah’s Ark
The ball soars majestically,
And passes Telopea Park.
Into the grand final park,
Where it rebounds off a man’s bald head
(Quaffing Belconnen’s victory toast)
And bounces, bounces right along the ground,
Right between the posts.
A hundred years from now,
In all the footy joints
They’ll talk of mighty Kev The Kanga,
And his six mighty points.
September 8th, 2009 at 10:57 am
My Beautiful, KJ, Amore,
Happy news……
Fabio go to Labor Party branch meating.
Lotta fun. Lotta worries too.
I tell new friends that Bosca Della and Belinda should get pole from Bunnings Wherehouse – fix things, dance, yeah.
Mr Chief Monk – I vote for you….many, many times.
Dear Fabio,
Wonderful, wonderful! Brother Warwick already has you on the volunteers’ list: Fabio: Door Knocking. KJ
September 8th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Did someone say habit?
I haven’t sighted the Dean in weeks and I am missing him sooooo.
He’s locked away like a monk writing another book – and in moments between commas stealing himself for what is a very hostile enterprise bargaining round. I am pulled… him? Or my loyalty for the National Tertiary Education Union?
You’ve all no doubt been missing me but wouldn’t you know I’ve been at an international conference giving a paper called U.S Commercial Radio Programming on Stamp Collecting in the 1920’s.
Please no requests for the audio!
Dear The Lonely Scholar,
Do this right now…Burst into the Dean’s office, fall onto the floor and scream: YOU HAVE PUT ME IN AN UNTENABLE SITUATION!
DO let us know what follows….KJ
September 8th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
You’re lucky Mr Sensible-Neatly-Creased-Tan-Trousers right wing attack poodle Andrew Bolt is away on leave, or you would right now be copping a walloping in his blog for using the words “re-elect” and “Labor” in the same sentence on an ABC-sponsored blog.
I can imagine the apoplectic mushes of his self-appointed media bias monitors as they find themselves all revved up with nowhere to blow….
Maybe they’ll dob you into Akerman in lieu of The Bolta. Stand by to be wittily referred to as a ‘leftard’.
My Mum used to work with Al Grassby (nee Albert Grass) in his pre-politics career. Her opinion of his character would roughly mirror the sentiments expressed in (should such a thing ever come into existence) a character reference written for him by a well-known family.
Dear Roma Street,
The Chief Monk passes on his best wishes. He is planning to launch his pre-election campaign in Leeton (via Griffith).
He wants to meet you and crown you MissRiverinaMeatTrayjesjokin! He also requests that you return to Leeton immediately to direct his upcoming campaign – meaning you’ll be based there until 2011.
And I know I’m right
For the first time in my life
That’s why I tell you
You’d better be home soon……
KJ.
September 8th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
New South Wales – The Freckled Funster State……
Where lawyers are pro boner.
September 8th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Dear Miss KJ,
I’ve just returned to my quarters after a very long and extremely enjoyable lunch with Richo.
God, Richo does lunch well and I must say, all things considered, the old fox looked in extremely good nick.
I say ‘all things considered’ because as you know Richo has had a run of awfully bad luck over the years.
There was a time when someone who looked very like him was seen consorting with ladies of the night…of course there was no way Richo would do that and we should make clear it was a case of mistaken identity….and NOW this terrible business on Sydney’s North Shore.
Midway through our third bottle of a very cheeky French red, Richo became quite emotional, put his arms around me and cried:
MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!
I’ve got this tape, THEY’RE after it, and you (he was meaning me) are my only hope.
He thrust the tape into my pocket and left the restaurant pronto….leaving me to pay the extemely large bill.
I’ve since had time to listen to the tape, and you won’t believe some of the names that are on it!
I’m thinking of releasing one name every hour over the next 24 hours – IN THE NATIONAL INTEREST.
On the other hand, if you don’t hear from me again, you’ll know what’s happened.
Always a pleasure my dear – pass on my regards to The Freckled Funsters.
The Old Carnt.
Dear The Old Carnt,
Just WHO is on the tape – Andrea Bocelli, Natalie Imbruglia, Cher, Whitney Houston…..WHO?
Go on, tell us…..NOW. KJ.
September 8th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
Let’s get fiskal. Fiskal,
Let’s get Fiskal.
I wanna get Fiskal…….
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/09/08/2679764.htm
September 9th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Dear MrsTMissMeatTrayJusJokin’,
Donations to: Michael McGurk Memorial Fund.
C/e Parliament House,
Sydney NSW.
YESSIREETRUEBOBDAT!
September 9th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Although I would like to support the sentiments in this blog here is something to caution a too blinded approach to party politics. A copy of yesterdays email.
Dear (Super Dean’s name is here…….),
About seeing me exit the National Tertiary Education stop work meeting yesterday.
You just won’t believe this but I had accidentally gone into that lecture hall thinking that something quite different was going on!
I thought I was seeing the well known ex-revolutionary Pesco de Quillato talking about the influence of beans on the Mexican 1995 uprising and as I was sitting there checking the messages on my iphone the hall filled up and the meeting was underway. What a mix up!
However – as it turns out – lucky I was there. I defended your idea that academics sweep the quadrangle to save on cleaning expenses and even suggested that we forego the second shower cubicle for bike riding staff. That directly affects me of course and it made quite an impression on the group.
I think I should just tell you that at the meeting they asked for fit people with strong arm muscles to raise their hands, and without thinking I raised my fist (automatic reaction from many years of gym classes) so when you see me carrying the banner at the front of the strike march you’ll understand that I was tricked, it had nothing to do with me.
Yours The Lonely Scholar.
Dear The Lonely Scholar,
You must, simply MUST give up on the Super Dean.
I’ve been on picket lines with the likes of him. They bring cold leftover tofu stirfries to share around. And, at the first sight of a scab they go over…..say hello….and off they go for a skim moccha. KJ.
September 9th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Dear Miss KJ
CORRECTION CORRECTION CORRECTION…….
I had a call from Richo this morning. Turns out he follows your blog thingy closely:
MAAAAAAAAATE - I love her work , love it
BUT:
It turns out I got it completely wrong about my lunch with Richo. You know I suggested that he did a runner, after we’d consumed three bottles of French Red -
My sorta revolution comrade he said with a wink.
Turns out all that happened was that Richo had gone to the boys’ room.
When he came back he tells me I was fast asleep, head down in a rather delicious creme caramel.
In fact, Richo tells me that after a couple more bottles it was he who paid the bill, and put me in a cab.
And all that stuff about a tape, well it appears I was dreamin’.
Best we say no more about it Eh My Dear?
I remain yours apologetically,
The Old Carnt.
Dear The Old Carnt,
Don’t worry, please don’t worry. I passed on your correspondence to The Chief Monk.
He said: That Old Carnt, he fun eh?
Said something about you working for his campaign….media relations.
KJ.
September 9th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Dear The Chief Monk,
(Copy to Brother Warwick)
YESSIREETRUEBOBDAT!
I humbly offer myself as your running mate…..
(How much time have I got to slim down?)
September 9th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Dear MissMegsyMeatTrayjesjokin!
Yo is the Vera Lynn of da campaign!
Yo is bootiful jes the way yo are….
September 10th, 2009 at 5:57 am
Freckled Funsters of the State unite,
Monkees of Leeton, join the fight
With Rompin’ Reesie we’re all right,
With Busker Della all through the night.
We’re gonna party, and that’s all right,
Frozen Liberals can’t put out the light..
Stop de fun, and kill Nat de Cat
We’re not giving up though, true, truedat
YESSIREEBOBTRUEDAT!
September 10th, 2009 at 6:20 am
He’s Nat de Cat,
Diddle, diddle,diddle, diddle…..
September 10th, 2009 at 10:12 am
What is happening here please? I awake from a fitful night – the nightmare of the day follows the nightmare of the night…….
The fall from the giant Parliamentary Flagpole was spectacular but slow, in slow motion.
Spinning, spinning, spinning.
Darveesh, darveesh, darveesh.
Yesirreebob….
Shock. Sudden pain. Nothing.
Sir? Sir? Sir?
Not now, Sam. What’s more I am dreaming…..
Sir?
Still in MTC, Sam…er Honeysuckle ?
Yes, Sir.
But you are dead, Sam. You murder people, they fall for your yellow curls under the khaki cap, and then you kill them. In Bletchley you’d be a Code Black.
Sir?
Sorry, Honey, it’s Auf Wiedersehn, as the Parachutists say before their bite.
Sir, the ambulance is waiting.
Waiting for what? Godot? Evensong? Cricket on the lawn?
Sir, let me hold your head.
Somebody should write a song like that, Sam..
Sir?
You are dead, Sam. Dead.
Stretcher bearer!!!! Over here. Honeysuckle Weeks in command. What in heaven’s name has been happening here?
September 10th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Dear The Lonely Scholar,
The Heart is a Lonely Hunter – and that can be bad.
Love close up and personal can also be bad.
That is all I have to to say at this point in time.
September 10th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Thank you The Dude. Most consoling……..
Also I think back to a recent lecture from visiting Professor Kathleen Stewart. Here is the description of her talk titled Atmospheric Atunements.
‘Something throws itself together. Or sags, shifts tone, or fails. Invisible airs quicken around nascent forms, rinding up like the skin of an orange. Circulating focrces waver and pulse, visceralizing the sheer sense of something happening. The ordinary hums with the background noise of all that takes place in moments, scenes, objects, resonances, rhythms. The atmospheric attunes to the sentience of things passing in and out of existence to the expressivity of what Giorgio Agamben calls whatever being. This sensing out that attends is itself a labor of worlding, an effort to inhabit a flighty ground’.
Aren’t you glad I shared?
Dear The Lonely Scholar,
Thank you, THANK YOU. Professor Stewart – in a nutshell – as described the atmosphere around former homes of mine just prior to THE breakups. For years, I have tried to find the words. Just off to have a little weep. KJ.
September 10th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Two red dots have appeared on my forehead.
Dear Greek and loving it,
Do let us know if they turn into eyes. KJ.
September 10th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Hospital bed….
Khaki hat. Brown curls. White plain face. Homely……
HOMELY?
Sir? Sir?
Yes, Miss Suckle.
You’ve broken your arm, and several other fractures, perhaps.
Thank you, Miss Suckle. Tell them to fit me up with a Hannibal Lecter Mask.
Sir?
September 10th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I am Nurse Try Do.
We have met before. I am your nurse for the evening shift.
I Try Do.
September 10th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Dear Greek and loving it,
A serious case of Hellenic Puberty Blues?
September 10th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
I wish.
September 10th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Thank you The Lonely Scholar,
Kathleen, you’ll never take me home again!
How amusing that academics who urge graduands to stay focussed etc wander off course in their Readings inflicted on the learner with musings that would disgrace an illiterate glue-sniffer. This latest offering is even more ridiculously ludicrous than the Post Modernism Father.
By the way Joe Hockey is now a tweeper. But is he a Freckled Funster?
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/09/10/2682317.htm
September 12th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
My husband says he wants me to try and behave like a bird.
I told him to increase his anti-depressant medicaton.
Was that the right advice?
Dear Greek and loving it,
Sure as hell was. Is he feeling chirpier? Chirp. Chirp. KJ.