Dear Greek and loving it,

You must get to the bottom of this – the radical wing of ‘Greening Australia’ will stop at nothing! KJ.

You ask me am I proud of these people? Well let me just say that they are TAXPAYERS WHO ARE PREPARED TO STAY PATIENTLY IN THE QUEUE TO COME TO AUSTRALIA. (The Rev Kev)

WE must give a handful of florins, some sugar and flour to the Sri Lankans, and boot them off their boat so that it can be used for AUSTRALIAN IDOL REFUGEES WHO ARE GENUINE ONE HUNDRED PER CENTERS. (M.Turnbull)

The Government has brought down a mini-budget to fund the Australian Idol Refugee Festival.

Planeloads of pollies and patriots are scheduled to land here soon.

The Channel Ten helicopter is overhead.

I called a conference of Try Do, the Chief Monk and Honeysuckle Weeks.

TGM: Sam?

Sir?

Your father was Ambassador to Ceylon, now Sri Lanka?

Yes, Sir.

You have diplomatic status and immunity?

Yes. Sir. In fact we have Sri Lankan citizenship as well…..

And you can grant it?

Yes, Sir.

Chief Monk, where were you born?

In Darvish Montastery in Colombo.

Try, your parents were?

Try and Do from the Tamil country.

They wanted to come to Australia?

They Try Do.

I asked Guido the Guido to draw up a document with TAMIL TIGGERS as a letterhead featuring a large Sumatran Tiger with fangs bared:

WE THE UNDERSIGNED AT THE INTERNATIONAL TAMIL TIGGER FESTIVAL DECLARE THAT WE AS SRI LANKAN CITIZENS ARE DETERMINED TO COME BACK TO AUSTRALIA.

Email that Godwin.

Away we go!

THE END

I know how Burt Reynolds felt re Dolly in ‘The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas’.

Deep breath……

Do you know how hard it is for me to say this TGM….?

YOU ARE MY HERO!

*Have the extra demountables from all the schools arrived yet?

Until I found that he WAS using his laptop.

He was lobbying old friends discussing trying to swing public opinion to bring us home as the TRUE 100 per cent Aussie refugees, as compared with those tea-drugged Tamils using up taxpayer dollars as they luxuriated in shipboard splendour off Indonesia.

Godwin if I find you doing anything like that I’ll break your laptop over your head and clap you in irons, or feed you to Tigger.

Sorry Lord Ginge, it is said that the email habit is tougher to break than cocaine.

Look, if you are concerned about the Refugee Question, you have to be POSITIVE.

We are having a FESTIVAL!

THE WORLDWIDE REFUGEE FESTIVAL.

Surely Leonard Cohen has some kind of Refugee Connection. Didn’t Leonard write?

Everybody knows the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows, Everybody knows……

Find out if Nana Mouskouri’s mob were wiped out in Pontus.

Does The Rev Kev have Famine ancestors?

Get cracking, Godwin!

We need Slogans!

You’re right Lord Ginge……what about…..?

REFUGEES ARE HOT!
or
REFUGISTAS ARE SEXIER THAN CHE!
or
REFUGEE REALITY TV
or
REFUGEE HOT WOK COOKOUT COMP
or
BIG BROTHER AUSTRALIAN IDOL REFUGEES

The Chief Monk said:

Refugee Lubb-In Week? Yesirreebobtruedat!

(Godwin) Nana has emailed!!!! She’s in! She’s sent a playlist. AND she’s coming with a friend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCORdHnStC8

* DRAMATIC CONCLUSION FOLLOWING SOON!

Dear Greek and loving it,

Okay then – you may need a genetically modified Halloween pumpkin. Woolies. Thirty bucks. Don’t know whether they’re suitable for cooking after being used for designated purpose. KJ.

A group of 100 per cent Australian refugees – all white – are planning an International Refugee Festival from an island on which they are marooned.

They have begun, in association with Channel Ten, a NAME THAT FESTIVAL competition.

A short time ago, I spoke to the group’s spokesman, Mister G.I.N. German….

Refugees are hotter than Climate Change at the moment, and I have asked my old friend, the Minister Penny Wong, to come and open the Festival once the public have contributed the Winning Name.

Blur: So it’s all about…?

German: NAME THAT FESTIVAL!

Great, Great! Ralph Blur for Channel Ten News…

To be continued.

Seventy-eight.

Visas?

None. I suppose you could say we are stateless refugees from the Mafia and Italian romantic vocal persecution.

Precisely. Is our radio working?

Yes.

Well, get on to that Customs thingamyboat OCEAN VIKING and tell them that under the Laws of the Sea they have to come and rescue us.

What manner should I adopt?

Try to be be tough and humane.

Do we have any tea left?

Sri Lankan.

Put on the kettle.

To be continued.

Were you Chaddie of Leeton High?
Super fellow, SUPER…..KJ (Facebook)