I feel a sudden rush of Reality here!

Hundreds of listeners from Leeton have sent me messages saying that the line, I LOVE HER FATHER, BUT NOT AS A SISTER, BUT AS A WOMAN ! has had quite an impact on the community.

Therefore I have great pleasure in announcing the Sister of the Year Competitition 2010.

I Love my Sister because…

Surely such an essay contest will bring forth not only the literary talents of the community, but will give us greater insight into the blood relationships of a rural community.

It will bring families even CLOSER TOGETHER.

All Sisters contributing here deserve LOVE, and as a WOMAN!

Slainte go saol agat,
Bean ar do mhian agat.
Leanbh gach blian agat,
is solas na bhflaitheas tareis antsail seo agat.

(roughly pronounced: Slancha ga sheil agat
Ban ir da vian agat
Toluv gan kis agat
Lanov gach blean agat
Iss solas na vlahas taraish antail sha agat.)
“Health for life to you,
A wife of your choice to you,
Land without rent to you,
A child every year to you,
And the light of heaven after this world for you.”

The baby seemed to be enjoying his first gurgling role as the Baby Jesus.

Fingo lapped up the role of Protector. Natural talent!

The Five Super Puppies, Kev the Kanga and Tigger the Tame Sumatran Tiger (who however snarled at a couple of men from Griffith) joined the Nativity scene.

The baby got a baptism of licks.

A single mother came forward with her boyfriend to claim the child.

Praise the Lord, she said. A Fingo has saved my baby!

Blessed be God forever!

Then into the Leeton Catholic Church came three wise Monks from Darvishstan.

They span around the child, then they went spinning to all corners of the church.

Others began to copy them.

Soon the whole congregation was spinning.

They span out into the street.

First Acacia Avenue, then the whole town began to spin.

The Chief Monk: We spin fra de Lorde. We spin fra de lubbin of the Childe, yesirreebobtruedat! Lub yo enemas! Lub all pipples!
And we spin fra rain fra to Dry Hirrigatin Harea!

It began to rain. Then it rained, again and again.

Leeton people were a-spinnin and a-dancin everywhere.

It was a great Christmas.

Have a Marvellous, Bloody Marvellous Xmas……..

The Chief Monk, I WILL SPIN FOR YOU TOMORROW.

HMITN.

Needless to say YOU and our friends KNOW what I want for Chrissie.

Thank you for advising me during ‘09. Yep, I know this is NOT a ‘pick up’ site. However, you did give me an Easter dispensation.

Happy Christmas everybody,

Marry Me.

Dear Marry Me,

Merry Christmas and good luck, KJ.

Carnt help thinking too many people find the Yuletide far too stressful and – in the spirit of Christmas – I carnt help recommending, as that last minute stocking filler for that special person in your life (or your worst enemy) a copy of Tony Six Pack’s latest thriller – ‘BATTLELINES’.

But HURRY, soon there’ll be less than 12 hours to Christmas.

Yours as Ever,

The Old Carnt

PS: Just sent a copy of ‘Battlelines’ by special courier to The Lodge – carnt help myself.

Dear The Old Carnt,

Merry Xmas,
KJ.

By a Staff Reporter:

Fingo, the dingo-fox half breed, missing this week has been found safe and well in a Catholic Church in Leeton.

The animal was found suckling an abandoned doll in a Nativity scene in the church.

The doll is said by medical staff to be in excellent condition.

‘It’s Romulus and Remus all over again,’ said a rescuer, recalling the famous story of a wolf suckling the founders of ancient Rome.

The animal grrrrd and yowled at first, but released the doll after the arrival of Fingo’s owner, Mr G.I.N.German, a visiting film maker and broadcaster.

Worshippers in the church alerted police after they noticed that the doll and an animal were moving in the Nativity Scene.

To be continued…..

But then again maybe it’s a country thing….

I’m reminded of introducing my future husband to my rellos out bush and they all said: Coooooooorrrrrrrr! How much bloody weight have you lost on Weight Watchers!

Thank goodness my family moved to a quasi metropolitan hamlet. You look well. Red or White?

Dear MrsT,

Talk about chuffed! First compliment of the Season.
KJ.