Maps please.

Dear The Dude,

Mr G.I.N German – of Emissions Moving Pictures – says he OP-PER-ATES STRICTLY IN ‘THE NOW….’ Miss Scarlett O’KJ.

‘Gone With (The Passing) Of Wind’ – Mr G.I.N German – must have studied at same Dramatical Institution as myself. I majored in Tragedy 1, 2 and 3 – all Distinctions.

The Kurt V Technique remains basically intact: however we must accept that some things are fluid Man …

Plot: Push comes to Shove.

Script: Free Fall/impromptu (sometimes referred to as The Constitution).

Critique: Seen it all before.

That’s a wrap.

SD.

Dear The Spin Doctor,

Welcome! Ah will pass on your details to Mr G.I.N German of Emissions Moving Pictures. He loves to meet up with A-lumni.
Miss Scarlett O’ KJ.

The Leeton Mayor and Governor walked with his son to the Weddin’ of the Year of the twin sister to where that son of the gun Coal-ition Confederate, Colonel Tony Six Pack, or Colonel Ab Doman, had stopped drumming his stomach muscles and was practising in his briefs sabre thrusts.

Mayor: I want you to tell my son about Love and Women.

Son: I LOVE HER FATHER. I DO. I DO. BUT NOT AS A SISTER BUT AS A WOMAN….

Mayor: Shut up son. Talk to him please Colonel Ab Doman…

Colonel Ab Doman: Women? They is adorable receptacles.

Son: What about a Secret Love, Colonel?

We’s all got sicritts son. Ah got plenty.

Such as?

From when ah was in holy orders, suh.

And?

Ah know that one day there’s gonna be a knock on the door. And a handsome young Leeton man is gonna say: ‘ Ah found ya, Daddy.’

(Colonel Ab’s stomach muscles gave a jerk of emotion).

And, you will say?

You got lotsa brothers and sisters – no rub-ber ever darkened mah door.

TUNE IN REAL SOON FOR THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF GONE WITH THE (PASSING OF) WIND.

I jest don’t know why people cannot JUST BE NICE, said the new President, Puppetina Cuddelina.

I mean why do they always have to be in the RIGHT?

Right! (said the Dogelino Bros) Let’s do lunch.

Said Puppetina. Nate fell in battle, I do hope he’s going to be ALL RIGHT. I SHALL HAVE TO PRAY FOR HIM.

Right!

People should JUST BE NICE. Ah mean ah do not complain about all of these strings.

Right! Let’s do Lunch!

Way down South in the Riverina
Pop-eye Barney is a screamin’..

Look away, look away,
Look away, Leeton gals.

Barney Google is a hurtin’….
Miss Melanie?
Her ladylike eyes avertin’…

Look away, look away
Look away, Leeton gals……

There’s something about that Scarlett girl that is familiar.
Why is she always talking about being thirsty?
We always have enough water for a cuppa.

Read Gone With The (Passing Of) Wind.

Back upstairs to the man-eatin’ doona BEFORE the gunfight starts….

Mr The Knuckle,

Folks that go runnin’ scaarred can git a hard tiiime round here, A VEEERY hard tiiime…..KJ.

Colonel Ab Doman was strummin’ his six pack to the toon of a fife while ALL ladies kindly A-verted their eyes.

Said Google:

Ef yo want WAR, bring et ON. We ready for ya!

As fer Penny Dances With Woks, we aint even half-afraid. NO-SIR-EEEEE-BOB!

Nor of that white-faced po faced little Napoleon in Canberry.

Science don’t stand still!

Ef that were so then Copernicus would be daid! Oh, he is daid? Well, then he’d a-bin MURDERED!

I heered this morning that the Nepalese is meetin’ at Everest…

They say the Himalayas is meltin’. THEY keep Arctic rats which occasionally devour one of their chillun. DISGUSTIN! DISGUSTIN’

Ah will believe their rubbish when a Polar Bear walks down Acacia Avenoo.

Is yo with me, Colonel Ab Doman, suh?

*Ab Doman stopped strumming and stripped down to his briefs.

Ah am an unsham-ed Riverina Budgie Smuggler, like mah daddy before me.

Ah thenk we should go down to the Buy-Lecksion in Higgins an kick their butts all the way back to Canberry, those Green Yankees.

We don’t want their TAXES, their WATER. My granddaddy ate coal for breakfast, lunch and dinner WITHOUT WATER. Yessir!

The officers milled around in their grey greatcoats on the brown grass knoll of Lorne Greene Reserve – 0.5 m beneath saline level.

Breng it ON! They cheered Barney Google.

The ladies watchin’ were hyper ventilatin’.

Said the Dowager Boronia:

Ah do declare. I ain’t been so exhilarated, pan caked and postulated since I was watching a young male servant sweatin’ at the dry water pump, his muscles a-coilin’ like buggy springs. Thet were when I was a young un’.

Kindly pass me my opery glasses..

Said Senator Google, his eyes a-poppin’ like ping pong balls:

Ef yo want WAR, bring it on!

Dear Mizzy Megsy,
Mizzy Melanie does FAR MORE than jes stand there lookin’ perdy and swoonin’.
She also makes the best rice and mo-lasses balls in Leeton – and that’s a fact…..
Mizzy Megsy, ah do believe you’d make a FINE Mizzy Melanie……
Miss Scarlett O’KJ.