KerrieJean.com

********7.37am, June 24th – The Rev Kev has this minute fired off an urgent appeal to the kerriejean.com community:

It’s not the Gary Grays (just heard him on the radio) of this world who made me numero uno.
It’s you KJ and all the other people of Australia……..who love me & put me in the Lodge.

So I urge you all to get down on your knees and get on the big white mobile to the big fella upstairs before there’s an absolute disaster & by tea time the red head from Wales - and her hairdresssing friend – move into the Lodge.

The first time in Australian history that a hairdresser has been occupying the PM’s bed!

Everybody here is extremely anxious KJ, especially Abby who’s crouching in a fearful way right at the back of her kennel.

Let Us Pray.

Read on…..

The Rev Kev – for as long as his Prime Ministership -  has been sharing his most intimate thoughts with us.

It’s been a privilege to have been privvy to the inner workings of an exceptional mind.  

As we farewell The Rev Kev, let’s relive some of the unguarded, inner moments marking the extraordinary political trajectory of a f******* extraordinary Australian.  

June 13, 2010 (Portent!  – kerriejean warns The Rev Kev)

‘I am predicting Julia will have your job before we know the winner of the World Cup.

And I have been told by impeccable sources that on Spill Day 2010, special AFP crack swearing units will be rushed to Parliament House….’

June 16, 2010 (Memorable Metaphors!)

‘As a wise man once said – one bad result/poor opinion poll – is NO reason for bringing down the leader – personally I don’t think Red is ready to play centre forward…..

As I say to her privately – this game is about more than changing your hairstyle everyday!’

May 12, 2010 (Statesman!  After a  phone call to new British PM, David Cameron)

‘We both had a little weep, and yes, agreed we’d made mistakes and that achieving the highest office in the land is a humbling experience….’

(This is how we will remember you. cr: cas_ks:flickr)

June 23, 2009 (Nissan Dorma. Utegate!)

Verily, verily, verily.…..
I quote unto you,
The Sermon on The Hill,
The Kevie-Attitudes…….
Blessed Are the Second Hand Car Salesmen,
For They Too Shall Inherit A Stimulatin’ Package.

PS. Yes, I may have a tight bum – that must be why there’s often a laying on of hands when I appear in public.

April 22, 2009 (JC Incarnate. $50,000 Chrissie cheques for everyone in the mail!)

‘Can I Just Say?

Some people have said I look like a dentist, that I talk like a dentist….and I make love like a dentist.

And I say:
When was the last time,
Your dentist sent you a cheque?

Oct 26, 2009 ( Chameleon! Rolling Stone Profile!)

As you know, appearances are so important, and much thought was given to how to dress The Rev Kev.  The following looks were tried:

1. KOUNTRY KEV – RM Williams came to the party, helping allude to my country boy b’ground. Plus the stylist said I looked great on a horse.

2. TOUGH KEV – All Leather.

3.COMPASSIONATE KEV – Dog collar plus halo, holding cute eight-year-old refugee kid.

4. KICKARSE KEV – Nike came to the party: Matt Giteau style T-shirt at a very reasonable $895, jockstrap by Hard Yakka.

5. KEV THE BIZ – Richo put me in touch with a very good tailor.

6. LAID BACK KOOL KEV – Polo shirt, summer strides, loafers – guitar.

…..So, zài jiàn to the stunning breadth of policies, passions - and outfits – that marked the (albeit ultimately tragic) Prime Ministership of our dear The Rev Kev…..

PREDICTION, PREDICTION, PREDICTION!

Julia will marry the Mousse Man – SOON!

****Breaking news (Daily Telegraph)

‘And as for the question on many lips – prospects of a prime ministerial wedding – Mr Mathieson cheerfully said time would tell.

We haven’t talked about anything more than being spouses at this stage. Wait and see, I guess.

*Dear oh dear, Mr Mousse Man I have news for you. The definition of spouse is….either partner in a MARRIAGE.

Just click on the ‘comment’ thingo and follow the simple instructions. The place to write your gems is at the bottom of the last published comment. *A little bit of counsel for people new to this caper. Your email (just called ‘mail’ in this case) address does NOT come up on site. And just ignore the URL thingo.

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 24th, 2010 at 7:34 am and is filed under Appalling Situations, Kevin Rudd kaput, The Rev Kev. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.