Email to:The *Mooning: Worse Than The Slap…..
*For those who’ve never mooned or met a mooner, it’s an act of provocation whereby a non-thinking person bends over pointing their buttocks in the direction of another person or persons. Read on…..
And so it was that a family was partaking of what had quickly become - in contemporary times - a traditional Christmas luncheon…
…….Compliments of Delicious.
…..Prawns in prawn jus, goat’s cheese flan with elderflower garnish, lobster kebabs with wasabi crust, rocket with rocket and kumquats with kumquat inspired kumquat sorbet.
This was an extended Australian family which loved each other despite terrible underlying tensions and gross intolerances.
…..Two nihilstic nephews, three swearing sisters, four Catholic jihadists, five antsy atheists, six Labor loonies, seven National nutbags – and not a peacenik in sight.
The conversation was driven by passion and hard liquor.
The same unbridegable differences in political orientations, opinions about appropriate hem lengths and same sex/different postcode marriages, remained.
A teenager at the table could take no more.
[Whose side are you on? Cr: National Archives, Netherlands:flickr]
Excusing herself from the kumquat with kumquat inspired kumquat sorbet she – as if on automatic pilot - got up from the table and – as if in a dream - sashayed outside.
Soon after, our warring Yuletiders fell silent.
Their eyes – as if one big eye - bulged.
Their fists – as if one big fist -thumped the air.
Collective shouts went up:
No, no NO!
Yes, yes YES!
There it was in sharp relief.
The teenager had reappeared, pushed against the sliding doors backgrounding our Christmas luncheon.
Mooning……
The Yuletide Mooning Incident saw the family split even more [if that was possible]
The Free Expressionists went head to head against the Moral Anti-Mooning Majority.
There were no winners.
As for The Mooner, she was frozen out of all family talk and activities for what became known as her Decade In The Mooning Wilderness.
I know she learned a lot there.
For The Mooner was me.
*********************************
To tell you the truth, I still feel bad about what I did that Christmas.
But watching ‘The Slap’ has eased the pain.
‘I just couldn’t help it’ was my defence back then – and it remains so now.
But, whose side are you on?
Was The Mooner justified?
Can Mooning ever be justified?
One thing’s for sure, every Australian family has a ‘The Slap’ like incident in its history.
And it’s about time you came clean about yours.Be brave.
Do it now by:
Just clicking on the ‘comment’ thingo and following the simple instructions. The place to write your gems is at the bottom of the last published comment. *A little bit of counsel for people new to this caper. Your email (just called ‘mail’ in this case) address does NOT come up on site. And just ignore the URL thingo.
Prawn Cutlet Award
October 10th, 2011 at 11:20 am
What’s mooning?
Greek and loving it,
If you don’t know what mooning is, then this is probably not the site for you……..
‘The Spirit of Things’ or ‘The Philosopher’s Zone’ sites may be more suitable.
Having said that, I once read that Socrates pondered the art and craft of mooning at some length.
He concluded that mooners – though involved in a deeply distasteful activity – had the right to indulge their whims in true democracies.
Vive la mooners!
KJ.
October 10th, 2011 at 11:24 am
No matter what the occasion, mooning is always justified.
Funerals excepted, there is not a social gathering in the world which cannot be improved by the sight of a pair of bare buttocks, especially when pressed up against glass.
Dear Roma Street,
Thank goodness!
The voice of reason…..
I really wish you’d be present all those years ago when The Riverina’s most controversial mooning incident erupted in spectacular fashion.
KJ.
October 10th, 2011 at 3:26 pm
I blame modern buses for the decline in mooning!
Once upon a time, you would be sitting at the wheel of your car ambling along Pine Avenue when you would suddenly be confronted by a pair of pale buttocks, leering at you through the back window . . .
Nowdays, with opaque or blacked-out back windows, the potential mooner has been stymied before he/she even gets going!
Ah well . .. that’s progress, I guess . . .
Dear Mister Palm Avenue,
Yes…and no…….
Whose side are you REALLY on?
KJ.