How Green Was My Car Wash
Monday, October 24th, 2011You know the place, you love the place……..
And then, some smart talkin’ guy in a fancy automobile suddenly turns up to do a travel piece for a big city newspaper……..
And then…
Without shame, without any feelins’ for the good folk livin’, lovin’ and learnin’ in my irrigated hometown, Leeton, New South Wales, declares:
‘A personal favourite is the automated carwash on Kurrajong Avenue, a must visit for anyone wishing to remove the coating of red mud/dust that clings to every vehicle that spends a day or two around Leeton. An extended wash and brush up costs $12, including the psychedelic lashings of green, white and purple foam. Red mist might impress the four wheel drivers of Mosman but, as the exit signs says, ‘a clean car is a happy car’.
[Sydney Morning Herald, Traveller: http://www.smh.com.au/travel/activity/great-outdoors/soaking-in-the-wetlands-20111019-1m7i5.html

[Mister Huxley on assignment: Cr: State Library, Archives Florida: flickr]
Well, well, well Mister John Huxley………
No wonder there’re 450 inquiries into the Australian media simultaneously underway with operators like you on the loose……
Descending on law abidin’ towns with big expense accounts, struttin’ down main streets swingin’ big notebooks and pointy biros…..
….Demanding, with menaces, to be taken right now to local attractions.
You only had to ask nicely Mister Huxley……..
I note you went to our World Heritage/UN Swamp Mission listed swamps and popped into the ‘modest’ SunRice Visitors’ Centre.
But Mister Huxley, you gotta understand that highly significant swamps and free sample bags of ‘Two Second Rice With Three Second Prunes’ do not a town make.
Nor – for that matter – does the zaniest car wash on the Pacific Rim.
Come again to Leeton at Christmas Mr Huxley.
Walk the mysterious laneways at the back of the shops on Pine Avenue.
There you’ll see the most magnificent examples of historic rusted corrugated iron fences outside of India……
…..Tap on the steamed up windows of young lovers parking on irrigation channel banks under the most stunning moonlit skies outside of Uzbekistan……
……..Go crazy during a night of bacchanalian alcopop driven dancing and loose talk in the auditorium of the Leeton Soldiers’ Club ['anyone for the Kokoda Trail?']
And Mister Huxley, we won’t be going anywhere near a car wash.
To leave Leeton with an automobile covered with mud just like a choc top icecream is a long held and very important traditon……
You only had to ask.
* A bonus audio extravaganza: Kerrie Jean visits one of Leeton’s World Heritage/UN Swamp Mission listed swamps:
Episode 3: A Lovely Day At The Swamp
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Gee, can’t journalists be insensitive?
I ask you: have you ever been to a place only to discover that your trip to the carwash was the highlight? I doubt it, I really do.
What can we do to clean up journalism?
If a journalist was visiting your town, what would you really demand he/she report back on? [and please don't, don't tell me your town has the most exciting car wash anywhere]
I await your news. Report in by:
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